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Old 10-09-2017, 06:21 PM   #13
Aiwendil
Late Istar
 
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As I mentioned in the outline thread, I had written drafts for "Of the Beginning of Days" and "Of Aule and Yavanna" quite a while ago, but hadn't posted them because I was waiting until we formally turned to those sections. I will post them now, for comparison with the approach taken by Findegil and ArcusCalion. Hopefully this can spark a discussion of the differences in approach and give us more options to consider in how we assemble these sections.

Actually, I made two versions of the first chapter - one with and one without several additions from the BoLT. I was (and still am) uncertain whether it's appropriate to include those additions, but I'll post the version with them.

Note that this draft is for a single chapter including the "Of Valinor and the Two Trees" material.

I took AAm as my basic text. As usual, these conventions are used:

Normal Text is from the basic text that is mentioned above.
Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{to be deleted} = text that should be deleted, for a better readability I have in this file crossed the text out. The forum does not support crossed out text.
[ ] = normalised text
<source > = additions with source information
example = text inserted for grammatical reason
/ / = outline expansion

Quote:
BD-01{§1 At the Beginning Eru Ilúvatar made [Eä], the World that is, and the Valar entered into it, and they are the Powers of [Eä]. …

§2 Of these Manwë and Melkor were most puissant and were brethren. …

§3 Varda was Manwë's spouse from the beginning, but Aulë espoused Yavanna, her sister, in Ëa. …

§4 With these great powers came many other spirits of like kind but less might and authority; these are the Maiar, the Beautiful, the folk of the Valar. And with them are numbered also the Valarindi, the offspring of the Valar, their children begotten in Arda, yet of the race of the Ainur who were before the World; they are many and fair.}

BD-02{Of the Beginning of Time and its Reckoning
§5 Time indeed began with the beginning of Ëa, and in that beginning the Valar came into the World. …

§6 Now measured by the flowering of the Trees there were twelve hours in each Day of the Valar, and one thousand of such days the Valar took to be a year in their realm. …

§7 But as for the Years of the Trees and those that came after, …

§8 It is recorded by the Lore-masters …

§9 The shorter year of the Sun was so made because of the greater speed of all growth …

§10 It is computed by the lore-masters that the Valar came to the realm of Arda … Those were the Days of Bliss. In those days, in the Year one thousand and fifty of the Valar, the Elves awoke in Kuiviénen and the First Age of the Children of Ilúvatar began.}

{1 The First Year of the Valar in Arda}
§11 After ages of labour beyond knowledge or reckoning

§12 BD-03 But their labours were frustrated and turned aside from their design, for Melkor coveted the dominion of Arda, and he claimed the kingship and was at strife with Manwë{.}<Ainulindale D and for long Melkor had the upper hand.> For <MT VI /he was the greatest created power, the greatest power under Eru./ He was to make and devise and begin; and Manwe (a little less great) was to improve, carry out, and complete.> {And}But Melkor wrought great ruin with fire and deadly cold and marred all that the other Valar made. So passed many years of the Valar in strife.

{1500}
§13 BD-04{It came to pass that hearing afar of the war in Arda Tulkas the Strong came thither out of distant regions of [Eä] to the aid of Manwë. Then Arda was filled with the sound of his laughter, but he turned a face of anger towards Melkor; and Melkor fled before his wrath and his mirth, and forsook Arda, and there was a long peace.}<Ainulindale D But in the midst of the war a spirit of great strength and hardihood came to the aid of the Valar, hearing in the far heaven that there was battle in the Little Kingdom. … And Tulkas remained and became one of the Valar of the kingdom of Arda; but Melkor brooded in the outer darkness, and his hate was given to Tulkas for ever after. >

§14 BD-05{Now the Valar began their labours anew; and when the lands and the waters were ordered the Valar had need of light, that the seeds of Yavanna's devising might grow and have life. Aulë therefore wrought two great lamps, as it were of silver and of gold and yet translucent, and Varda filled them with hallowed fire, to give light to the Earth. Illuin and Ormal they were named. {1900} And they were set upon mighty pillars as mountains in the midst of Arda, to the northward and the southward.} <LQ But since Melkor had perverted light to a destroying flame, when he was gone and his fires were subdued the Valar perceived that the Earth was dark, save for the glimmer of the innumerable stars which Varda had made in the ages unrecorded of the labours of Eä. Aulë, therefore, at the prayer of Yavanna, wrought two mighty Lamps Illuin and Ormal for the lighting of Arda; and the Valar set them upon lofty pillars northward and southward in Middle-earth,> <Ainulindale D and the light of the Lamps of the Valar flowed out over the Earth, so that all was lit as it were in a changeless Day.>

§15 BD-06{Then the Valar continued their labours until all the kingdom of Arda was ordered and made ready, and there was great growth of trees and herbs, and beasts and birds came forth and dwelt in the plains and in the waters, and the mountains were green and fair to look upon. And the Valar made their dwelling upon a green isle in the midst of a lake; and that lake was between Illuin and Ormal in the midmost of Arda; and there in the Isle of Almaren, because of the blending of the lights, all things were richest in growth and fairest of hue.} <Ainulindale D Then the seeds that Yavanna had sown began swiftly to sprout and to burgeon, … And there upon the Isle of Almaren in the Great Lake was the first dwelling of the {gods}[Valar] when all things were young, and new-made green was yet a marvel in the eyes of the makers.> But the Valar were seldom there gathered in company, for ever they would fare abroad in Arda, each in his own business.

§16 And it came to pass that at last the Valar were content …

§17 Now Melkor knew all that was done …

{3400}
§18 Now therefore the Valar were gathered upon Almaren and feasted and made merry, fearing no evil …

§19 Then Tulkas slept, being weary and content …

§20 Now Melkor began the delving and building of a vast fortress deep under the Earth, far from the light of Illuin; and he raised great mountains above his halls. That stronghold was after called Utumno the Deep-hidden; and though the Valar for a long time knew nothing of it, nonetheless the evil of Melkor and the blight of his hatred flowed out thence, and the Spring of Arda was marred, and BD-07<Ainulindale D green things fell sick and rotted, and rivers were choked with weeds and slime, and fens were made, rank and poisonous, and the breeding place of flies; and forests grew dark and perilous, the haunts of fear; and beasts became monsters of horn and ivory and dyed the earth with blood.> {living things became sick and rotted, or were corrupted to monstrous forms.}

{3450}
§21 Then the Valar knew indeed that Melkor was at work again, …

§22 In the confusion and the darkness Melkor escaped, though fear fell upon him …

§23 Thus ended the Spring of Arda. And the dwelling of the Valar upon Almaren was utterly destroyed, and they had no abiding place upon the face of the earth. Therefore they removed from Middle-earth and went to the Land of Aman, which was westernmost of all lands upon the borders of the ancient world; for its west shores looked upon the Outer Sea that encircled the kingdom of Arda, and beyond were the Walls of the Night. BD-LT-00 But the east-shores of Aman are the uttermost end of the Great Sea of the West{;}. {and since Melkor had returned to Middle-earth, and they could not yet overcome him, the Valar fortified their dwelling, and}

BD-LT-01 <LT Then said Manwë: [‘]Now will we make a dwelling speedily and a bulwark against evil.[’] So they fared over [Avathar] and saw a wide open space beyond, reaching for unknown leagues even to the Outer Seas. There, said Aulë, would be a place well suited to great building and to a fashioning of realms of delight; wherefore the Valar and all their folk first gathered the most mighty rocks and stones from Avathar and reared therewith> upon the shores of the Sea they raised the Pelóri, the Mountains of Aman, highest upon earth. BD-LT-02{And above all the mountains of the Pelóri was that height which was called Taniquetil,} <LT Aulë indeed it was himself who laboured {for seven ages} at Manwë’s bidding in the piling of {Taniquetil} the greatest mountain,> upon whose summit Manwë set his throne before the doors of the domed halls of Varda{.}, <LT and the world rumbled in the gloom and [Melkor] heard the noises of their labour.>BD-08 <LQ > Taniquetil the Elves name that holy mountain, and Oiolossë Everlasting Whiteness, and Elerrína Crowned with Stars, and many names beside. But the Sindar spoke of it in their later tongue as Amon Uilos.>

BD-LT-03<LTSeeing at length that these towered mightily between Valinor and the world the [Valar] drew breath; but Aulë and Tulkas fared abroad with many of their folk and brought back all they might of marbles and good stones, of iron and gold and silver and bronze and all manner of substances. These they heaped amid the plain, and straightway Aulë began to labour mightily. > {But}And behind the walls of the Pelóri the Valar established their mansions and their domain in that region which is called Valinor …

§24 Therefore the Valar and all their folk were joyful again, and for long they were well content, and they came seldom over the mountains to the Outer Lands; and Middle-earth lay in a twilight beneath the stars that Varda had wrought in the ages forgotten of her labours in [Eä].

{3500}
§25 And it came to pass that, after Valinor was full-wrought and the mansions of the Valar were established and their gardens and woodlands were arrayed, in the midst of the plain west of the Pelóri Aulë and his people built for them a fair city. That city they named Valimar the Blessed. <LT No metal and no stone, nor any wood of mighty trees was spared to {their}its raising. {Their}[Its] roofs were of gold and {their}[its] floors silver and their doors of polished bronze; {they were}[it was] lifted with spells and their stones were bound with magic.> And before its western gate there was a green mound, and it was bare save for a sward of unfading grass.

§26 Then Yavanna and Niënna came to that Green Mound; … But Niënna thought in silence, and watered the mould with tears. BD-09<AAm* footnote For it is said that even in the Music Nienna took little part, but listened intent to all that she heard. Therefore she was rich in memory, and farsighted, perceiving how the themes should unfold in the Tale of Arda. But she had little mirth, and all her love was mingled with pity, grieving for the harms of the world and for the things that failed of fulfilment. So great was her ruth, it is said, that she could not endure to the end of the Music. Therefore she has not the hope of Manwë. He is more farseeing; but Pity is the heart of Nienna.> Then all the Valar were gathered together to hearken to the song of Yavanna; and the mound was in the midst of the Ring of Doom before the gates of Valmar, and the Valar sat round about in silence upon their thrones of council, and their folk were set before their feet. {And as the gods watched, behold! upon the mound there sprang two green saplings, and they grew and became fair and tall, and they came to blossom.}

§27 BD-10{Thus there awoke in the world the Two Trees of Valinor, … and all that walked in that light were glad at heart.}<LQ From the earth there came forth two slender shoots; and silence was over all the world in that hour, nor was there any other sound save the slow chanting of [Kementári]. Under her song two fair trees uprose and grew. … Telperion the one was called in Valinor, and Silpion, and Ninquelótë, and many names in song beside; but in the Sindarin tongue he was called Galathilion. Laurelin the other was called, and Malinalda, and Kulúrien, and many other names; but the Sindar named her Galadlóriel.>

§28 But the light that was spilled from the Trees endured long, …

§29 BD-11{Thus began the Days of the Bliss of Valinor, and thus began also the count of Time. … and one thousand of those Days was held to be a Year, for then the Trees would put forth a new branch and their stature would increase.} <LQ In seven hours the glory of each tree waxed to full and waned again to naught; and each awoke once more to life an hour before the other ceased to shine. … And each day of the {gods}[Valar] in Aman contained twelve hours, and ended with the second mingling of the lights, in which Laurelin was waning but Telperion was waxing.>

BD-12 <AAm Of the Beginning of Time and its Reckoning
§5 Time indeed began with the beginning of [Eä], and in that beginning the Valar came into the World. But the measurement which the Valar made of the ages of their labours is not known to any of the Children of Ilúvatar, until the first flowering of Telperion in Valinor. Thereafter the Valar counted time by the ages of Valinor, whereof each age contained one hundred of the Years of the Valar; but each such year was longer than are nine years under the Sun.

§6 Now measured by the flowering of the Trees there were twelve hours in each Day of the Valar, …

§7 But as for the Years of the Trees and those that came after, one such Year was longer than nine such years as now are. …

§8 It is recorded by the Lore-masters that this is not rightly as the Valar designed at the making and ordering of the Moon and Sun. …

§9 The shorter year of the Sun was so made because of the greater speed of all growth, and likewise or all change and withering, … This is drawn from the Yénonótië of Quennar{: quoth Pengolođ}.

§10 It is computed by the lore-masters that the Valar came to the realm of Arda, … Thereafter one thousand and four hundred and five and ninety Valian Years (or fourteen thousand of our years and three hundred and twenty-two) followed during which the Light of the Trees shone in Valinor. Those were the Days of Bliss.>

BD-13<Ainulindale D{Thus it was that the Earth lay darkling again, save only inValinor,}But as the ages drew on to the hour appointed by Ilúvatar for the coming of the Firstborn. …

§34 But in Valinor the Valar dwelt with all their kin and folk, …

§35 In the midst of the Blessed Realm Aulë dwelt, and laboured long, for in the making of all things in that land he had the chief part; and he wrought there many fair and shapely things both openly and in secret. … Though these last and all that deal with things that grow and bear fruit must look also to the spouse of Aulë, Yavanna Palúrien. BD-14{And Aulë we name the Friend of the Noldor, for of him they learned much in after days, and they are the most skilled of the Elves. And in their own fashion, according to their own gifts which Iluvatar gave to them, they added much to his teaching, delighting in tongues and alphabets and in the figures of broidery, of drawing, and of carving. And the Noldor it was who achieved the invention of gems, which were not in the world before their coming; and the fairest of all gems were the Silmarils, and they are lost.}

BD-LT-04<LT Separate from {these}[Valimar] and bordering upon the open vale was a great court, …

In this court were some of all the trees that after grew upon the earth, … and were gathered by [Kementári’s] maids for her feasting and her lord’s.>

§36 But Manwë Súlimo, highest and holiest of the Valar, sat upon the borders of the West, forsaking not in his thought the Outer Lands. For his throne was set in majesty upon the pinnacle of Taniquetil, which was the highest of the mountains of the world, standing upon the margin of the Seas. BD-LT-05<LT That house was builded of marbles white and blue and stood amid the fields of snow, and its roofs were made of a web of that blue air called ilwë that is above the white and grey. This web did Aulë and his wife contrive, but Varda spangled it with stars, and Manwë dwelt thereunder[.]> Spirits in the shape of hawks and eagles flew ever to and from his halls; … Elves and Men revere Manwë most of all the Valar, for he has no thought for his own honour, and is not jealous of his power, but ruleth all to peace. BD-15{The Vanyar he loved most of all the Elves, and of him they received song and poesy. For poesy is the delight of Manwë, and the song of words is his music.} Behold, the raiment of Manwë is blue, and blue is the fire of his eyes, and his sceptre is of sapphire which the Noldor wrought for him; and he is King of the world of {gods}[Valar] and elves and men, the vicegerent of Ilúvatar, and the chief defence against the evil of Melkor..

BD-LT-06<LT {Lórien}[Irmo] {too} dwelt far away, and his hall was great and dimly lit and had wide gardens. The place of his dwelling he called Lórien, which Aulë made of mists gathered beyond [Avathar] upon the Shadowy Seas. … There too grew the poppies glowing redly in the dusk, and those the [Valar] called {fumellar} the flowers of sleep—and Lórien used them much in his enchantments.>

BD-LT-07<LT Otherwise was the mind of Tulkas, and he dwelt amidmost of Val[i]mar. Most youthful is he and strong of limb and lusty, and for that is he named [Astaldo] who loveth games and twanging of bows and boxing, wrestling, running, and leaping, and songs that go with a swing and a toss of a well-filled cup.> BD-LT-08<LT His was a house of mirth and revelry; and it sprang high into the air with many storeys, and had a tower of bronze and pillars of copper in a wide arcade. … There danced she among her maidens as long as Laurelin was in bloom, for is she not greater in the dance than Vána herself?>

BD-LT-09<LT Ossë too had a great house, and dwelt therein whenso a conclave of the Valar was held or did he grow weary of the noise of the waves upon his seas. [Uinen] and the [Eärni] brought thousands of pearls for its building, and its floors were of sea-water, and its tapestries like the glint of the silver skins of fishes, and it was roofed with foam.>

§37 BD-LT-10 But Ulmo was alone, and he abode not in Valinor, nor ever came thither unless there was need for a great council, when <LT he would go as guest to the halls of Manwë>: he dwelt from the beginning of Arda in the Outer Ocean, and still he dwells there. …

§34 And in that time of dark Yavanna also was unwilling utterly to forsake the outer lands …

BD-LT-11{And}[Now] Oromë tamer of beasts <LT {Now Oromë} had a vast domain and it was beloved by him{, and no less by Palúrien his mother.} Behold, the groves of trees {they} planted upon the plain of Valinor and even upon the foothills of the mountains have no compare on Earth. … Much indeed as he loves those realms yet> he would ride too at whiles in the darkness of the unlit forests; as a mighty hunter he came with spear and upon his tireless steed with shining mane and golden hoof, pursuing to the death the monsters and fell creatures of the kingdom of Melkor. Then in the twilight of the world he would sound his great horn, the Valaróma, upon the plains of Arda, whereat the mountains echoed and the shadows of Utumno fled away, and even the heart of Melkor himself was shaken, foreboding the wrath to come. <LT But in Valmar his halls are wide and low, and skins and fells of great richness and price are strewn there without end upon the floor or hung upon the walls, and spears and bows and knives thereto. … Its innermost solitude is walled with roses, and this is the place best beloved of that fair lady of the Spring.>

BD-LT-12<LT So fair were these abodes and so great the brilliance of the trees of Valinor that Námo and [Vairë] his wife {of tears} might not endure to stay there long, but fared away far to the northward of those regions, where beneath the roots of the most cold and northerly of the Mountains of Valinor, that rise here again almost to their height nigh [Avathar], they begged Aulë to delve them a hall. Wherefore, that all the [Valar] might be housed to their liking, he did so, and they and all their shadowy folk aided him. Very vast were those caverns that they made stretching even down under the Shadowy Seas, and they are full of gloom and filled with echoes, and all that deep abode is known to [Valar] and Elves as Mandos. There in a sable hall sat Námo{, and he called that hall with his own name Vę}. It was lit only with a single vessel placed in the centre, wherein there lay some gleaming drops of the pale dew of Silpion: it was draped with dark vapours and its floors and columns were of jet. Thither in after days fared the Elves of all the clans who were by illhap slain with weapons or did die of grief for those that were slain—and only so might the Eldar die, and then it was only for a while. There Mandos spake their doom, and there they waited in the darkness, dreaming of their past deeds, until such time as he appointed when they might again {be born into their children}[take body], and go forth to laugh and sing again.>

BD-LT-13<LT {for she}[But Nienna] laboured {rather} at the distilling of salt humours whereof are tears, and black clouds she wove and floated up that they were caught in the winds and went about the world, and their lightless webs settled ever and anon upon those that dwelt therein. Now these tissues were despairs and hopeless mourning, sorrows and blind grief. The hall {that she loved best}[where she dwelt] was one yet wider and more dark than {Vę}[Mandos]{, and she too named it with her own name, calling it Fui.} Therein before her black chair burnt a brazier with a single flickering coal, and the roof was of bats’ wings, and the pillars that upheld it and the walls about were made of basalt.>

BD-16Now all is said {to thee, Ćlfwine, for this present,} concerning the manner of the Earth and its rulers in the time before days and ere the world became such as the Children have known it. {Of these thou hast not asked, but a little I will say and so make an end.} For Elves and Men are the Children; and since they understood not fully that theme by which they entered into the Music, none of the Ainur dared to add anything to their fashion. … The dealings of the Ainur have been mostly with the Elves, for Ilúvatar made the Eldar more like in nature to the Ainur, though less in might and stature, whereas to Men he gave strange gifts.

§38 For it is said that after the departure of the Valar there was silence and for an age Ilúvatar sat alone in thought. …

§39 Therefore he willed that the hearts of Men should seek beyond the world and should find no rest therein …

§40 But Ilúvatar knew that Men, being set amid the turmoils of the powers of the world, would stray often, and would not use their gifts in harmony; …
I apparently made no explanatory comments (that I can find) on the Lost Tales additions, but I have these notes on the other changes:

BD-01: I removed the first four sections as this is material covered more fully in the Valaquenta.

BD-02: The section on the Reckoning of Time (sections 5-10) should I think be moved to after the Two Trees are made.

BD-03: This is an attempt (probably not a very good one) to introduce material concerning Melkor from text VI in Myths Transformed. It possibly should go in the Valaquenta instead, if not be dropped entirely.

BD-04: The Ainulindale gives a more detailed account here than AAm.

BD-05, -06, -07: For most of section 14 LQ seems to give the fullest account, but for section 15 the Ainulindale does.

BD-08: Here I add the names of Taniquetil given in LQ (following what CT did in the ’77).

BD-09: Added the footnote into the text.

BD-10: LQ gives the fuller description of the Trees.

BD-11: Here it’s a little harder to judge, but I think that the LQ account of the waxing and waning of the Trees is the better one to use.

BD-12: Here I add the ‘Reckoning of Time’ material back in.

BD-13: The closing portions of Pengolodh’s addendum to the Ainulindale seem to me to work well here (more or less where CT puts them in the ’77), though this is not the only possible placement.

BD-14: This passage was bracketed by Tolkien, presumably for exclusion. If we do decide to use it for some reason, we must at the very least remove the reference to the Noldor ‘inventing’ gems (the later story is that gems already existed in the Earth but the Noldor learned how to make them themselves.)

BD-15: Also bracketed for exclusion by Tolkien (though I’m mystified as to why).

BD-16: Removal of Aelfwine.
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