Seems to me, the defacto definition is provided by those who are not nerds, and is therefore quite simple: A nerd is someone who is not cool.
I think it's like social mobility. Anybody can recreate themselves if they learn how. I used to be uncool. Now I'm only uncool at home. I put on the cool persona at work. It's easier to get through the day that way. Heh. Sometimes the persona slips "when the wax gets hot". How much is a body willing to compromise to maintain cool?
And what was once uncool can become cool. It's all in the minds of the "in" crowd, who then foists it on the "out" crowd; unless someone or group can stage a revolution of sorts.
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