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"So, tell us a few things about yourself, Ms. Brokenback," the host, who had introduced himself as Karís Mâtiktwít said with a grin of dubious sincerity and hue. "How long have you been in Mordor?"
"It's Brochenbach," Wilhelmina told him in indignation.
His expression did not change. "Right, and how long have you been in Mordor?"
"Er... fifty-odd years." She glanced down the street but Fléin was no longer visible: he'd either gone in another direction, or was just too short to be seen in the crowd.
"And what were you assigned here for?" he asked, the preposition dangling like mucus from the nose of a person with a particularly bad cold virus.
"There was an incident involving carbonated beverage terminology, among other things... Look, young man, do you really have to wave that... that ice-cream-cone-shaped thing at me whenever I say anything?"
The host did not acknowledge her question, but rather delved for further information. "Other things?" He turned to look straight into the strange thing on the Uruk-hai's shoulder. "Might our star have some juicy secrets hidden in her past? We'll see if we can get her to divulge them as we follow her around the city. We're going to take a short break, but don't go away! We'll be back with more footage and exclusive interviews that you'll see only on 'Escape from Mordor'! And... cut," he concluded. "Alright, nice shooting. Wilhelmina, if you could be a little more charismatic, that would be just great. Let's take it down the street. Action!"
Karís went down the street, and the Uruk-hai gestured at her to follow him; he in turn walked behind the pair as they fought to get through the crowd.
"Where are we going? I have to get to Edge-Where. You do know that, don't you?"
"Of course," the man said, looking straight ahead. "And we're going to follow you around as you do it."
"Mr. Mâtiktwít," Wilhelmina said, "it would seem to me that I am the one following, not the other way around. Why are we walking down this street, anyway?"
"It's for a certain type of shot," he muttered irritably. "We're going to speed it up after filming. Reality shows do it all the time."
"I wouldn't know," the old woman sniffed. "I've never watched one."
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