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Old 10-07-2007, 08:10 PM   #529
Feanor of the Peredhil
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The trouble it seems easiest to fall into is having Indil and Tharonwe be inactive. Not that they're not doing anything, just that they're not moving as they do it. Maybe I spend too much time with comic book writers, but it's been ingrained into me that a stationary character had better be stationary for an extremely good reason. My biggest complaint about Kafka's Metamorphosis is that it took what's-his-name like eight pages to get out of bed. So one question is "Where do we put Tharonwe and Indil next?" in terms of moving the plot and keeping them active. Their motion should be reflective of both state of mind and state of story. If we keep them in one place too long, we risk stagnation, which is an interesting effect to have with Senior Swamp-Elf, if we want to play with that, but do we?

So one response is that you and/or I can shift Tharonwe and Indil elsewhere, though I'm not sure where.

A related note is that it seems to me as though it will create more tension (insert painting-teacher voice) if we have the pursuers get substantially closer before they move on again. The proximity adds interest and momentum. It seems to me as though simply having Tharonwe and Indil continuously out of reach is less interesting for a reader (and a writer) than having them almost found and then lost again.

So another option is that you can take the chasing group and get them closer, which may or may not require more than a few sentences like "They struck out, Bergil following the tracks with the famed expertise of a Ranger, and, hot damn, the Elf and Child were within view, just over the next ridge." Say one of the horses gets lamed, a storm crops up, Bergil has a sneezing fit, Raefindan stubs his toe, and the followers are forced to watch as Tharonwe picks up Indil and disappears from right between their outstretched fingers. Ouch.

You said yourself that Aedegard and Jorje are in waiting mode.

A dream could be interesting for Raefindan/Roy, as we've had dreams from pretty much everybody else who's tied up in mental knots. But it could also make it harder to move on physically with the plot, just because then it's like sitting around having a dream pow wow. You get a lot of intense mental play, but lose track of what's going on in the surroundings.

So...

(always feel free to ignore me)

I'd say the most beneficial next move is to physically shift Raefindan's group, and then maybe use proximity to Indil/Tharonwe to give birth to a Raefindan/Roy dream. Which it would be mad cool if it impacted Indil/Angela and Tharonwe noticed...

Because I can't imagine Tharonwe not wanting to unravel this mystery.

Question: is Raefindan strong enough to overpower Tharonwe at all?

Because it would be really cool (this is me letting my imagination frolic; don't forget how willing I am to be slapped on the nose with a newspaper and told to sit quietly and hush) if Tharonwe could get his cold-hearted fingers on both Raefindan/Roy and Indil/Angela and probe their minds together...

*meanders away for a while*
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