I miss my father at times, of course, but I try to look forward, as I am the father to my kids. When we speak about such things, I never hide that we all will die - with four kids, I'm constantly being plied with questions, and so it comes up. I've even been asked the second question, which is "why do we *have* to die?"
My answer's been that we need to move on, that we need to make room physically and emotionally for our children to grow. I guess that what I'm trying to say that I never truly will be a parent until I'm no longer anyone's child (or something).
This 'letting go' is, to me, consistent with what Tolkien was expressing.
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There is naught that you can do, other than to resist, with hope or without it.
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