Ideas of things to be found in the game, based on comments on the thread:
"Human tongues flopping around, finding the easiest way to say words." LMP
"A large party of female 'Downers hammering on the Black Gate pleading to be let in." ~Lal
Wingèd Balrogs with no Gandalf to fight them ~Form and LMP
Nerve-wracking phone calls and pretentious pronunciations. Eomer of the Rohirrim and the phantom.
Also, my "proofs":
The phantom assigned me for walking in the street instead of on sidewalks. Saucie assigned me for assigning minor irritations without second thought. Eomer assigned people in general. Lathriel's got me because I say "zee" to pronounce this letter: z. LMP sent me, whether he knew it or not, for pretentious pronunciation. TGWBS sent me as a Balrog Winger. Saucie sent me because I'm a teenager [one] that doesn't understand parental worry [two]. TORE sent the unsigned positive reps that (yes, I'm coming clean) I sent him.
Gothmog's got me as an American. Mormegil's got me for complaining about not being able to find a pair of size 7 1/2 clogs. TORE's got me because of art projects involving negative space: if I'm not sent for having assigned them to students under my watch, I'm there trying to retrieve them. And Gothmog sent me for being an impossible-to-understand girl.
The things I've assigned (wow, I've been busy and disgruntled!):
Lima beans
Britney Spears
rumor-mongorers
deadlines
chapped lips
vomit
nurses that don't understand that asthma attacks are bad
guys who think that attractive girls are _____
computer viruses
spyware
REGENTS exams
all standardized tests
"nuc-ular"
Mice
People who look at me with a horrified look as they see the habit I've developed of dipping Troops' curly fries into chocolate ice cream.
And I'll send my own inability to turn down food-dares.
hot weather that makes me not want to eat.
when henna fades so it looks like you're dirty, instead of decorated
spider bites.
political correctness
sunburns
pretentious use of silent letters.
water that accidentally gets inhaled when you're messing around in the pool.
allergies and all of their varied symptoms
migraines
criticism about me instead of to me
Psychics.
college placement tests.
having to wait until LMP says so to watch that madly fun sounding RP unfold.
acute paranoia.
skinned knees.
Men who unintelligently assign a woman's bad mood to hormones.
slivers.
stubbed toes.
people who pronounce it Ray-min noodles. It's Rah-men.
Multiple lynchings
medication tolerance
Level 81 in the Pit of 100 Trials in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door.
nagging parents.
being too sick to flirt
business attire
canonicity
forgetting how to draw
New computers that won't let me pirate music.
idiotic Phys. Ed. teachers
work in a hundred degree greenhouse
hovering parents.
Axe-murderes
adults who think that moody teenagers are going to care about the difficulties of being a parent.
"You are judged by the company you keep."
people who think that a Straight Edge lifestyle means you've got a gang mentality
when my parents brag about me
paranoia of law enforcement officers.
procrastination
bad habits
text books that cost over a hundred bucks a piece and that they have no used versions of
Saturday morning classes.
Idiotic bees.
Collegiate insomnia.
college dorm parties
blisters
such a huge workload that one does not even know where to begin
Mac computers
I assign classes that I couldn't stand but that I still did really well in.
crystal clear memories you'd like not to have
telephones
SAVEs
all of the pop drinkers
there not being a single open washing machine
And interpretation besides the author’s
10th grade
computer-monitor induced headaches,
friends being sick,
Psych tests,
trying to decipher Shakespeare when there are so many fantastic distractions
not being able to find a shoe in your size
pushy extroverts
people that forget about the "grey area" in between what's black and white
pulled
inability to hold a standard
I'll have a character bio and first post some time soon. But as has been said... no rush.