I have a few comments:
1) When Tolkien continued the manuscript it appears he changed the name "Tal-elmar" to "Tal-Elmar". I propose we change it throughout the chapter for consistency, since this seems to be a later idea.
2) There is one instance right before
TE-SL-24 where the tense needs to be changed for agreement:
Quote:
Tal-Elmar TE-SL-23.5{feels}felt the language to be known and only veiled from him.
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3) I propose a re-organization. I think it should start with an preface which gives background information and discusses the kinds of men:
Quote:
TE-SL-34<Of Dwarves and Men On the relations of the different kinds of Men...began to spread far and wide as a TE-SL-46 {lingua franca}common speech among peoples of many different kinds.
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Then an introduction to the tale itself:
Quote:
TE-SL-29 <Tal-Elmar, hasty note {Beginnings of}This is a tale that sees the Númenóreans...the chief haven of the Faithful Númenoreans .>
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Then comes the story itself:
Quote:
TE-SL-01 <Akallabêth Then Tar-Ancalimon, son of Atanamir...Tal-Elmar offers himself as a hostage.>
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Finally it ends with:
Quote:
There is no more TE-SL-32 <editorial addition told of Tal-Elmar and the people of Agar,>{ At the foot of the page my father wrote 'Tal-Elmar' twice, and his own name twice; and also} TE-SL-33 <editorial addition but it is said that> {'}Tal-Elmar {in}came later to Rhovanion{', '} and Wilderland{'}, {'}/and that he saw /Anduin the Great River{','}and the Sea of Rhûn{','Ettenmoors'}.>
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