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Old 07-07-2020, 07:19 AM   #24
Huinesoron
Overshadowed Eagle
 
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: The north-west of the Old World, east of the Sea
Posts: 3,778
Huinesoron is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Huinesoron is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55 View Post
It's more like "there is no love that one could betray", meaning the former. I don't think it's critical to stick to every line exactly. But this sounds a bit gloomy for Finrod (implying that love that is not lost won't endure? Poor Beren!). I don't know if I have an alternative that sounds as good though.
Right, that makes sense... but is very difficult to make fit. ^_^ I've tweaked it a little to get rid of the gloom and make a tighter match with the line above:

Only one road runs ever straight
Only love remains ever true
You spurned me forever that Night
But I never swore I would leave you.


It's still not perfect, but it's better, and the one/ever pattern is nice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55 View Post
Hui, can I ask permission to share this with other people outside the Downs? It's fantastic, and very impressive!
Sure, go for it! And that goes preemptively for any other sections I might translate.

... because, uh, I did. I praised Luthien's duel with Sauron in both my commentaries, so it seemed only fair (by which I mean awesome):

Duel of Luthien and Sauron (1:26:00 in version 2)

LUTHIEN:
What do I care for locks and bars
If my love... is living?
What do I care if hard and cold
Falls the Dark Lord's hand?
Now! Let him come forth from iron cage and walls.

I will have nothing left to lose
If my love... is fallen
I would forsake the world entire
For a single day!
Now! Let fate be woven for me here and now!

SAURON:
Know this:
In my shadow every bird and beast will bow to me
In my shadow I have power utter and complete

LUTHIEN:
You... you fear to step out of your iron gates!
Know this:
There, the breath of springtime stirs the air
There, the grass is dappled with the dew
And when the nightingale takes flight,
She sings at dawn-

SAURON:
-that you will lose even the little that you have.

LUTHIEN:
I will have nothing left to lose
Unless my love is at my side-!

SAURON:
Nothing you do will change a note of Arda's Song of Life
The threads are woven in their pattern strong and drear and tight

LUTHIEN:
I can't unpick the threads of fate
But at your iron prison's gate
I beseech you: give me back what's always mine!

SAURON:
There is only one who can wield power in this world

BOTH:
One... who can wield power in this world

LUTHIEN:
One... who can be loyal and endure
Till love can chase away the night
Like sudden ray of springtime light.

SAURON:
But Elves are naught but slaves who
Ever curse their rightful Lords
Elves.... are naught but slaves of greater Lords
Games of light and darkness are beyond your feeble kind
Games... like these are far beyond your kind

LUTHIEN:
Light and dark can both be damned!
Love is the only vow that counts!

SAURON:
I can do anything I want to do with you!

LUTHIEN:
NO!
Know: love fills my heart with thirst for life
Know: love gives me strength if I must die
And even then, in shadowed hall
I'll face the mightiest of all
I will take what is and always has been mine!

SAURON:
The weave of fate is dire-

LUTHIEN:
Know: love can be patient in its need
Know: love holds the keys to victory
Light and dark can both be damned!
Love is the only vow that counts!
The only Law for those who welcome love and see:

SAURON:
The games of light and dark-

LUTHIEN:
Know: love is stronger than your hate
Know: love is unstoppable today
And like the springtime water's flow
Love will melt the chains of cold
Tear down walls of stone and burn the bars away!

LUTHIEN & BEREN:
Let... the wind rage over tumbled walls
Love... has led me back to you once more
Stronger than any griefs or woes
Worth more than victory or gold
A single battle won: the victory of love...!


I've played a little looser with the rhymes here, because I don't feel like they're as tightly written in the first place. I've deliberately dropped the Tolkien reference of "the dark abyss" in favour of "be damned", because I really like that line. ^_^ I'm not too happy with the final duet (the first line is a bit weird), and I'm sure there are translation errors throughout, but... well, it sings well.

I've also thrown both translations up together on a Google Doc, mostly to help me keep track of them! But I figured I'd share the 'consolidated version' here too.

hS

Last edited by Huinesoron; 07-07-2020 at 07:19 AM. Reason: Code error
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