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Another point to consider would be Eldarion, or more accurately, Aragorn's heir. As you pointed out, there really is no reason why Arwen HAS to renounce her immortality in order to marry Aragorn by any sort of law. Elves marrying mortal men is incredibly rare, but it's not exactly uncheard of (especially in Arwen's own family) So why is it so imperative for Arwen to be mortal to marry him. I think the matter of the heir is at least part. Arwen presumably knows Aragron wants kids (or more accurately, that one of the fundamental needs of any king is to have an heir) Elves, we know tend to have kids pretty late in life (even by thier extended standards) It may be that, as and elf, Arwen isn't OLD enough to have kids, and wont be within the time span she can reasonably assume Aragorn to live (in other words the difference between being an elf and being a human may be deeper than "one is immortal, one isn't). And come to think of it, if Arwen COULD have kids with Aragorn as an elf, what does that leave those kids? We know that mortal Arwen and mortal Aragorn resulted in mortal Eldarion. If Arwen had still been elf, where would that have left him. Another person with the choice, except NOW the choice is between immortality and rule of the West. We've already seen what the craving for immortality did to the Men of the Numenorian line, imagine what might happen if one of them GOT it; a king of Gondor/Arnor who knew he could basically rule FOREVER. That's probably more tempatation than any human mind can stand without going mad (He'd probably basically turn into a Ringwraith without ring.)
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