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My crime is to read Lord of the Rings without taking into account any Catholicity or religious symbology whatsoever. I don't see martyrs or messiah figures or invocations of the virgin. Middle-earth is a wonderfully pagan place where folks are more concerned about the here-and-now than the hereafter. Except for the Elves, of course, who are a decadent monarchical stereotype, ever bemoaning the loss of their conservative wonderland to the upstart and oafish proletariat.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.
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