About the hunt: while I'm not sure about its relevance in the later version, I still think the hunt in itself is a nice piece of worldbuilding, which, even if we cut it out from the ruin of Doriath, should be mentioned somewhere.
Also, Findegil, I see on the private forum that you decided to keep the part where Thingol offers the outlaws a share of the treasure - but given what we've seen in 'Concerning... The Hoard', I can't help but disagree.
While the new version is pretty condensed, I think that the gist of it is that the outlaws didn't just want a few trinkets here and there: they claimed the entire hoard, as did Thingol!
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The outlaws, released from the presence of Húrin, claimed that it was theirs, won by their weapons and labour. Fighting broke out, even in the inviolable halls of Thingol.
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This quote IMO implies that there was never any possibility of a compromise (or payment to the outlaws short of the whole treasure) - probably due to the curse(s).
Additionally, I think we should replace all the references to Thingol's obsession with gold in
The Nauglafring with silver (as per 'Concerning'): such as references to a helm of gold, a hilt of gold, golden trappings for his steed, etc.
I also have a problem with this line:
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...and indeed it was one of their grievances of old against the Eldar that they had hunted and slain their lesser kin, who had settled in Beleriand before the Elves came there. Therefore Naugladur vowed to rest not ere Mîm was thrice avenged...
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Given the sheer contempt in which the Petty-dwarves were held by by their 'greater' counterparts in the later writings, I find this part implausible.
It's true that in the 'Concerning' there is this line:
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Also (they now urged) the treasure had been taken with violence and murder from a Dwarf (though Mim was not in fact akin to the Dwarves of the eastern mountains).
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But judging by the context, this is merely a rationalization for them taking more than is their due. I seriously doubt that Naugladur would care one bit about Mim - certainly not to the point of publicly proclaiming that he would avenge him thricefold.