[the phantom]

Mardil raised an eyebrow as the psychologist entered his cell and sat in a chair across from his cot. She was in her forties, heavy set, carried a clipboard and a briefcase, and looked at him as if he was a sad, hopeless case.

"Well, well, who do we have here," she said, drawing a folder out of the briefcase. "Mardil II. Is that correct?"

"Yes," said Mardil, staring at the wall.

"All right. First, my name is Doctor Freudina, but you can just call me Doc if you want. Okay... it says here that you were cleared by Judge Caan Lupine of all charges surrounding the death of Dr. Hookbill, is that correct?"

"Yes. He was sympathetic to my plight," answered Mardil.

"Then why are you still in jail?" she asked.

"Because I want to stay here for a bit."

"Ah, I see," said Freudina with a knowing look. "Would you say that you feel safe here?"

"Um, I suppose."

"Good...good..."

"Doc- what are you writing?" asked Mardil, trying to look over the clipboard and read her writing upside down.

"Oh nothing, don't you worry," she answered as she finished. "Now, it says here that you were cleared of all charges due to 'temporary insanity', is that right?"

"Well, yes and no," answered Mardil. "I wasn't exactly 'insane', it was a bit different than that. You see, we didn't know what to classify it as for legal purposes, so we just put it under the term 'temporary insanity', but it was actually more like I wasn't myself- or was someone else, or something else... or, at least altered anyway..." Mardil stuttered to a stop, realizing how foolish he was sounding. Doctor Freudina's hand was a blur as she wrote line after line in her notebook.

"So," began the Doctor, "Would you say you were a 'different person' when the attack occurred."

"Yes," said Mardil. "No!" he added quickly. "Actually, no. Not at all."

"Yes and no- very interesting," said Freudina as she scribbled more notes.

"No no, you see I wasn't a different person," said Mardil, wishing she would stop writing, "I was a werewolf."

Freudina stopped writing and looked up at Mardil. "You were a what?"

"A werewolf," said Mardil, wishing that he had never mentioned it.

"I see," said Freudina as she once again began writing. "And how often do you believe that you are a werewolf?"

"Well, never. I have a potion to control it, you see. But I hadn't taken it that day because it wasn't night, but I started changing anyway because I was up in the Tower of the Moon."

"Wow. You seem to have this whole werewolf story worked out," said Freudina, who clearly did not believe Mardil and seemed fascinated by his level of delusion.

"It's not a story!" shouted Mardil. "It happened two years after I got here. There are werewolves in a couple places in Mordor, because in the future someone assigned werewolf games to Mordor. This one particularly nasty wolf named the phantom bit me one night, and so I started turning into a wolf. But I managed to get a potion from this fellow named Severus that kept me from turning. When I leave Mordor the curse should wear off because I wasn't bitten by a Middle Earth werewolf- I was bitten by an anachronism werewolf."

The quicker Mardil spoke the quicker Doctor Freudina wrote. She had already started on her third page when Mardil stopped talking.

"So," she said, "You are a werewolf, but will cease to be one when you leave Mordor. Very interesting. Do you like being a werewolf?"

"No, of course not!"

"So you didn't enjoy throwing Doctor Hookbill to his death?" inquired Freudina.

"Well, at the time I did, but it wasn't me," answered Mardil.

"Then who was it?"

"The werewolf, of course!" snorted Mardil.

"And who is the werewolf?"

"Well... me...I guess."

"But you said it wasn't you," said Freudina.

"It wasn't!" insisted Mardil. "I mean- it wasn't me me. It was... it me... you know..."

Freudina took out a red pen and wrote something. As she wrote, Mardil heard her murmur "multiple personalities" and "delusional".

"Look," said Mardil crossly, "Can we stop talking about the Doctor Hookbill incident."

"Certainly, Mardil. Let's talk a bit about you. Are your parents together?"

"Yes."

"Do you have siblings?"

"A younger brother and sister."

"What is your father's name?"

"Denethor IV."

"And what is it that he does- what is his job?"

"Um, well, he's the Steward of Gondor."

Doctor Freudina blinked heavily and nodded. "Okay, then. Steward of Gondor," she said as she got out her red pen again.

"He is the Steward!" said Mardil angrily.

"Whatever you say," Freudina responded with a patronizing smile. "Very delusional" she mumbled as she wrote in red pen.

"Well, let's stop talking about your family. Let's talk about why you're here in Mordor. Why are you here?"

"Because the King hates me," said Mardil, clenching his fists.

"Problems with authority" muttered Freudina as she wrote in red pen again.

"Seriously, the King hates me! The Kings and Stewards have been rivals for a couple generations- you know that! Anyway, in my first year at Minas Tirith University, the King had me tossed into Mordor though I had not spoken an anachronism!"

"And why did he do that?" asked Freudina.

"He caught me and his daughter making out in one of the palace fountains," said Mardil, staring at the floor.

"Oh- so you were 'making out' with the King's only child, the beautiful Morwen? How interesting. Was it just a fling?"

Surprisingly, Mardil did not respond negatively to the Doctor's obvious disbelief. Instead, he continued staring at the floor and said "No."

"All right," said Freudina. "Now I want to know if-"

"Get out," said Mardil.

"Excuse me?"

"Leave. I'm not talking to you anymore. Write whatever you want to write in that stupid notebook of yours. This psych eval is over." Mardil looked up into her eyes, drew one of his knives, and twirled it meaningfully.

"Oh, goodness, yes, yes, I was just on my way out. Look at the time!" said Freudina as she snatched her briefcase and scampered out of the cell.

Mardil stood up and slammed the door after her.