Half the strain was just wanting to join the Dead thread. As I said in the game, neither of the Mandos games have I been able to join the dead...this must be the only type of game people don't want to kill me right away.
I've just been intrigued by the concept, because I think of the dead brothers in Stardust, just observing and commentating on the plot that's happening in the movie.
I had no special powers besides killing and it wasn't only wolves, it worked as long as the Ranger wasn't protecting the person, or the wolves didn't target the same one. Night 2 I didn't target/kill anyone. The other time, in the game I said I didn't kill anyone I targeted
Nerwen with the 2 other wolf packs, so at least I could make the claim I didn't, and not be completely false.
The other strain was just having to be so lonely all the time and having to survive basically on my own. There was a point if I died then one of my abilities could have taken effect (given the right circumstances and luck) that I still could have won, but
Kuru asked for me not to reveal that and I suppose since he gave me such a fantastic role to play...I won't. Sorry.
But when the wolves went for
Lommy and
Eomer instead of me, it was too late and I now was in a pickle (I knew ahead of time if the players were down to 5 my other ability I could no longer use, because it wouldn't have been fair. And I had made it that far on my own, I needed to finish it!
) , being revealed as the person night-killing wolves, but also someone who couldn't win with the village. I thought at the point I revealed after
Nerwen, if I made myself a big enough threat to the wolves, they would kill me, but it got to the point where I was much better as a lynch target for a last surviving wolf.
I had a hunch of the 3 remaining unknowns it was
McCaber, so I accepted
Mith's plan, and stuck with it, despite it probably sealing my fate because I didn't have much more fight left in me to try to make it look like
Kath killed her. At least my aim was better than Smaug's, and I had no special knowledge, either, except the night the Dead gave the signal that
Form was a wolf. I was considering going for
sally, but I decided to be a dragon of my word and kill the one the Dead signaled and really thinking it would be best to get the game down to 1 wolf pack.
Basically I had to keep killing wolves at a pace that kept the game going, because if the village number got too small than there would have been no chance. And I probably shouldn't have revealed when I did, but I was thinking I couldn't get lynched at that time, because I took a gamble with killing
Lalaith (had no confirmation she was a wolf, I just thought she looked like she knew too much information about wolves and I was all-in believing
Nerwen was the seer)...so in my head if I was lynched, with still a possibility of 4 wolves, it was over for the village and me.