Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55
I could have moved the very hills - if only I actually worked on this consistently. This has got to be the longest song yet. But look - your New Year post inspired some new progress! I am rather pleased with the "moved the very hills - death makes equal everyone" part. And I have a rough idea of what the final section would look like, so there's hope yet that I will be done in under a year...  Thinking ahead, I recall some performances at least having Finrod sing the final line ("doom fell") without any accompaniment at all, into silence - is that something you like / think is feasible?
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I'm here, and by Ranuin it's been less than a month! I've just sung the progress to myself and it's lovely. *And* it's nearly finished right? ... right?
Cripes this is a long song. I like the idea of trailing off into silence, but feel free to score it if you prefer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55
I say it's an excellent start to the year and a good omen of productivity... or at least persistence. I agree about the recording quality, it seems a little weird. Especially the timing - it's almost like the whole thing is delayed by a fraction of a second, it begs to be shifted forward in bulk. What happens if you just delete a couple milliseconds at the very start? Would it align better with the music? It almost sounds like a recording delay, it's that consistent.
As another side question - are you interested in trying to harmonize Beren and Finrod when they sing together in this one? I could do the same trick I used for the Elf-choir, ie record the melody separately for each voice separately and copy that for the singing. How do you feel about it? |
A recording delay is possible... I'll take a look at it, or just re-record. ^_^ I have no objection to harmonising, but would definitely need separate melodies, because I am not a music.
Looking at the lyrics now, I think we're just too fixated on keeping the rhymes. There is no good rhyme for "life" or "heart"! So I'm going right back to square one. Here's how Google parses the Russian:
F: Not a brother to his people,
B: You stayed with him to the end.
F: The Lord who perished into darkness!
B: But you won’t find a brighter face!
F: Of the two lamps, one should burn,
I chose the one in front of me!
B: Only the faithful stand fearlessly on the edge!
F: - But, Beren, what would justify my life?
How would I stand at the throne of the Day -
an enchanted witness of someone else's fate?..
Coming at it completely cold, I get something like this:
F: Forsaken by those I called friend
B: But to the end they were your care
F: The king in darkness meets his end
B: But there was ne'er a face more fair!
F: Of our two Lamps, but one can be;
I choose the only one I see.
B: No, Finrod! My loyal king, let not hope fade!
F: But Beren - what other choice could I have made?
How could I stay / at throne of day
A witness mesmerised of other people's dooms fell...?
Which resolves all the problems, at the cost of utterly shredding the lines. No, I don't think I've butchered the
meaning too much.
For the former "strife", I focussed on Finrod's part: he's saying "Given the choice between us, your life is so clearly more worthy that there could be no justification for saving myself". I've tweaked the final lines to say "How could I stay" - ie, how could I face judgement if I stood by and let you die? (I also tweaked the 'two Lamps' line again, to imply Finrod is saying his own light has already gone out.)
After that, Beren's line was just about finding a rhyme and going for what I think he meant: one or another of loyalty/faithfulness/friendship/love can get us through the darkest times. Essentially, he thinks Finrod has given up, while Finrod sees this as a positive choice to save his friend (with the ever-present subtext that he has had Visions about Beren's place in the Music).
hS