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Originally Posted by Huinesoron
Rhymes! I knew there was something I forgot. :O
Okay, I've gone back and made sweeping changes, and edited the post (no point throwing the whole thing out a second time). The first three sections all had their second lines changed; I've replaced the first 'O my king' section; the first line of the 'black banners' verse is changed; Thingol's love is now strong and proud (not strong and true); the 'love only once' line is changed; and I've changed the final 'O my king' a little (wrought > done). I'm not sure I like either of the last to O My Kings, but I can't think of a way to improve them. (As far as I can tell, they're not meant to rhyme with anything; they occasionally do, but that's just how language works.)
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I must say I like this version better. I think it has better flow to it, and the rhymes do work now. I personally like the O my Kings (and I can confirm that they stand alone, they aren't really tied to the rhymes of the main verses). And "To love but once, that is our lot:" is actually a closer translation, I think - though I can't remember exactly how it was before.
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Originally Posted by Hui
The Surgeons Feanorion are amazing. My wife is a nurse; I think I will have to sing this at her.  Given that they apparently do April Fools' Day performances of the musical, I can't help feeling the performers would approve. ^_^ |
That was a shameless mixing of some of my favourite things in life, Tolkien and Medicine. I loved doing it. ^.^