Sorry again I've been taking so long with this. I was going to try to write an all-encompassing post, but perhaps it's better if I just post what I have for now.
As an exercise, I tried constructing a version of this chapter first without reference to the version posted here. However, to keep things simple I did not add anything from LT, MT, etc., and I only indicated the spot where the Cuivenyarna would go. So this is really just a basic text built from LQ and AAm. Note, I am not proposing this as the text for our chapter; it was only intended as a point of comparison.
Quote:
CE-01 <AAm {§30} For one thousand years of the Trees the Valar dwelt in bliss in Valinor beyond the Mountains of Aman, and . . . but should wait for a time of awakening that yet should be.> CE-01.1<AAm* But Melkor dwelt in Utumno, and he did not sleep, but watched and laboured; and whatsoever good Yavanna worked in the lands he undid if he could, and the evil things that he had perverted walked far abroad, and the dark and slumbering woods were haunted by monsters and shapes of dread. And in Utumno he multiplied the race of the evil spirits that followed him, the Śmaiar, of whom the chief were those demons whom the Elves afterwards named the Balrogath. But they did not yet come forth from the gates of Utumno because of their fear of Oromė.>
<AAm{§31} Now Oromė dearly loved all the works of Yavanna, . . . he would often come also to Middle-earth, and there go a-hunting under the stars.> CE-01.2 <AAm* He had great love of horses and of hounds, but all beasts were in his thought, and he hunted only the monsters and fell creatures of Melkor. If he descried them afar or his great hounds got wind of them, then his white horse, Nahar, shone like silver as it ran through the shadows, and the sleeping earth trembled at the beat of his golden hooves. And at the mort Oromė would blow his great horn, until the mountains shook,> <AAm and things of evil fled away; but Melkor . . . giving battle only to those of little strength, tormenting the weak,> CE-01.3 <AAm* and trusting ever to his slaves to do his evil work.> <AAm Yet ever his dominion spread southward over Middle-earth, for even as Oromė passed the servants of Melkor would gather again; and the Earth was full of shadows and deceit.>
CE-02 <LQ {§18a} It came to pass that the Valar held council, . . .
{§19} And Varda said naught,. . . but in the North in the Elder Days Men called them the Burning Briar: {quoth Pengolod}.>
CE-03 <AAm {§37} In that hour, it is said, . . .
{§38} In the changes of the world. . . and the sound of water falling over stone.>
At this point the Cuivenyarna would be inserted
<AAm{§39} Long the Quendi dwelt . . . no other living things that spoke or sang.
CE-04 {§40 At this time also, it is said, Melian, fairest of the Maiar, desiring to look upon the stars, went up upon Taniquetil; and suddenly she desired to see Middle-earth, and she left Valinor and walked in the twilight.}
{1085}
{§41} And when the Elves . . .
{§42} Thus it was that the Valar found at last, as it were by chance, those whom they had so long awaited. And when Oromė looked upon them he was filled with wonder, as though they were things unforeseen and unimagined; and he loved the Quendi, and named them CE-04.1 {Eldar,} the people of the stars.
{§43} Yet many of the Quendi . . .
{§44} Thus it was that when Nahar . . .
{§45} But of those hapless . . .
{1086}
{§46} Oromė tarried a while . . . abode with the Elves.>
CE-05 <LQ{ And the {gods}[Valar] rejoiced, and yet were amazed at what he told; but} Manwė sat long upon Taniquetil deep in thought, . . .
{§21} But now the Valar made ready and came forth from Aman in the strength of war, resolving to assault the CE-05.1 fortress[es] of Melkor in the North and make an end. Never did Melkor forget that this war was made on behalf of the Elves and that they were the cause of his downfall.>
CE-06 <AAm {§48} Melkor met the onset of the Valar. . .
{1092-1100}
{§49} That siege was long and grievous, . . .
{1099}
{§50} It came to pass that at last the gates of Utumno were broken and its halls unroofed, and Melkor took refuge in the uttermost pit. Thence, seeing that all was lost (for that time), he sent forth on a sudden CE-06.1{a host of Balrogs, the last of his servants that remained}<AAm emendation his Balrogs, the last of his servants that remained faithful to him>, and they assailed the standard of Manwė, . . .
{Third section of the Annals of Aman
1100
The Chaining of Melkor}
{§51} Then the Valar returned to the Land of Aman, . . .
{§52} And the Valar doomed Melkor . . . discovered by the Valar.>
CE-07 <LQ {§23} Then again the {gods}[Valar] were gathered in council . . . speak with the tongue{s} of Melkor.
Nonetheless the Elves were at first unwilling . . .
{§24} The Eldar prepared now . . .
{§25} The smallest host . . .
{§26} Next came the Noldor, . . . northern lands of old. CE-07.1 <LQ emendation Dark is their hue and grey are their eyes.>
{§27} The greatest host came last, . . .
{§29} These are the chief peoples of the Eldaliė, . . .
The {Alamanyar}[Śmanyar] were . . .
{§30} Others there were also . . .
{[}Other names in song and tale . . .
The Noldor are the Wise, . . .
The Teleri are the Foam-riders, . . . the {Axe}[Staff]-elves, the Green Elves and the Brown, . . . the Lingerers; they are the Friends of Ossė, <LQ emendation the Axe-elves,> the Elves of the Twilight, the Silvern, the Enchanters, the Wards of Melian, the Kindred of Lśthien, the people of Elwė. {Quoth Pengološ.]}
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I'll try to start digging into the details of Findegil's version tomorrow, but some initial thoughts after putting together my version:
- It seems that I relied more heavily on AAm and Findegil on LQ for the basic text. My understanding is that AAm is the later text, so I preferred it in cases where there was nothing else to decide between them, and used LQ only when it gave a fuller account or details that were otherwise missing. I made the following table of correspondences between the section numbers in the two texts, which might be of some use (the .5s indicate part way through a section and the bolded entries indicate the ones I preferred for my draft):
LQ : AAm
18 :
30-31
18a : 32-33
19 : 34-36
20 .0 :
37-46
20.5 - 21.0 : 47
21.5 :
48 - 50
22 :
51-52
23 : 53-57
24-27 : 58
29 : 59-62
30 : 63-66
I think it's worth looking at each LQ/AAm section in Findegil's draft and thinking about whether it or the other source is better.
- I agree that we should include the "Cuivienyarna", but I'm not completely sure how. I don't like the solution of just plopping it down in the middle here without transition or preamble. It seems clear to me that Tolkien did not intend this to <i>necessarily</i> be the "true" story of the Elves' awakening, especially since he noted that the names Imin, Tata, and Enel likely came from the number-words rather than the other way around. I think we need to somehow indicate that this is a story told among the Elves.
- In MT VI, an altered story of the Battle of the Powers is sketched out. I thought about this a bit, but it seems to me that this must be considered a projected change that we cannot implement. I haven't read through Findegil's version enough yet to see if anything was taken from this text, but I'll be continuing to think about this as I read through.
- I haven't looked at LT additions yet, though I see that there are some in Findegil's text. I think that in general I'm more hesitant to add in LT material in small bits than is Findegil, but I have no objection in principle, so this is something else I'll be paying attention to as I read through Findegil's version.
- I tend to think that the etymological discussion in "Quendi and Eldar" should not be included in the narrative of this chapter, though again, I haven't looked at specifics yet.
Mostly I just wanted to post this to start myself going. I hope to carefully read the proposed draft and discussion tomorrow or, at least, within the next few days.