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Old 12-07-2018, 05:45 AM   #7
gandalf85
Wight
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 121
gandalf85 has just left Hobbiton.
I took a look at the chapter, I don't have many comments. Regarding the previous discussion in this thread, I like Findegil's idea that "Translations" should be complementary to "LotR" and if possible, shouldn't cannibalize large sections from the appendices. I realize this may be impractical for some sections, I like Findegil's suggestion of mining from the early drafts if we can. A few other comments/general questions about the project:

1) For us super nerds, it is obvious that Durin was a king of the Longbeards. But it may not be obvious to a general audience. I'm assuming Bilbo would want his "Translations" to be accessible and informative to a general audience. Is this a goal of the project? The first paragraph discusses During without any mention that he was the King of the Longbeards. I suggest the following small change:

Quote:
Durin was the name of one of the fathers of all the race of the Dwarves, and the ancestor of all the kings of the {Long-beards}[Longbeards].
I think this addition sets up the rest of the chapter in a nicer way. It does cannibalize a small section of the appendix of LotR, but only a very small section.

2) This chapter has a ton of footnotes, and from what I've seen of the other drafts, they do not have as many footnotes. Do we have some "in-universe" explanation for why this chapter has no many footnotes? Who added the footnotes? Bilbo himself? Or maybe Gimli? Or one of the other hobbits at the bidding of Gimli? I remember we decided not to use a frame-narrative to discuss where the different texts came from, but maybe in the case of footnotes we should add in some comment of where these came from.
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