Thread: The Stewards
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Old 02-04-2019, 04:05 PM   #28
Findegil
King's Writer
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
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TS-FR-05: Very nice find! I would only edit t in one place a bit differently:
Quote:
... Then fortune changed. {Our}The messengers of the Dwarves of the Mountain were attacked and robbed by cruel Men, well-armed. No messengers came from Moria; but rumour reached {us}the Mountain that the mines and dwarf-city were again deserted. For long {we}the Dwarves could not learn what had become of Balin and his people - but {now we have}then they had news, and it {is}was evil. ...
I exchanged one ‘they’ for the more general ‘the Dwarves’ to avoid to mauch ‘they’s.
I am as well a bit unsure about the evil news at the end. In the original context it would be made clear in the next chapter that this evil news did not come form Moria, but from Mordor. But in our case it is just an evil forshadowing. For the time being I would let it stand.

Respectfully
Findegil
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