[THE Ka]

Ha! Then next he'd call in about his hair dryer not having a "set to stun" button...

Here's one that would be very common...

S=Sauron, T=Tech support

S: *Shakes palantir GRRR! this is absolutely stupid! AOL (A.k.a. Arda OnLine)worked just hours ago! That's it! Time to threaten Tech support!

T: (In strange accent) Hello, my name is Lugo with Tech Support. If you have a question about our excellent line of online and internet brouser packages, dial one. If you have have a problem with our IM and or, related media, press two. If you would like to hear comments from customers on their experiences with our product, press three. If you would like to hear an orc sing in tenor, press four. If you think i'm drop dead hansome, press five.

S: *Presses two.

***Music ques in for about five minutes... Along with some guy telling how great he is...

T: You have told us that you have a problem with IM or, related media, if this is true, press 2 again.

S: *presses two

T: You have specified that you do, have a problem with IM and or, related media. Would you like to hear our tech support line in English or Spanish? (Alturnate click and it switches over)
Usted ha especificado que usted hace, tienen un problema con IM y o, relacionado medios. ¿Quisiera usted oír nuestra línea de apoyo de tecnología en inglés o español?

S: What's Spanish? Oh well, "English"
T: i'm sorry, could you repeat that?
S: 'English'
T: I'm sorry, I can't understand you... Please wait while we re-direct you.
S: *The tapping of fingers on a table...
T: You have specified that you do, have a problem with IM and or, related media. Would you like to hear our tech support line in English or Pig Latin? (Alturnate click and it switches over)
Ouyay avehay ecifiedspay atthay ouyay oday, avehay away
oblempray ithway IMWAY andway orway, elatedray ediamay. Ouldway
ouyay ikelay otay earhay ourway echtay upportsay inelay inway
Englishway orway Igpay Atinlay?

S: What happened to spanish?
T: I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Please try again.
S: GAHHH! Your running my patience very low! Now redirect me to English!
T: Are you sure?
S: Yes, yes i'm sure...
T: Really?
S: Yes, really...
T: Really, really?
S: Yes! I'm very sure!
T: I don't believe you...
S: YOU WILL REDIRECT ME TO ENGLISH ON THE TECH SUPPORT LINE, OR I WILL TAKE YOUR INTESTINES AND STRING YOU UP BY THEIR GREASEY VINES OF TERROR!
T: Okay, okay... Quick! How many fingers am I holding up!
S: *SLAM!!! The phone brakes.... Ah! I!... I need asprin...

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Eh. That was lame. As usual...

~Ka