[Hookbill the Goomba]

Not that he hated the Troll or anything like that. Nor did Smilog really have any particular hating of swampland. But having his head dragged through the latter by the former was not an experience he did not enjoy very much. The troll's thick arms gripped Smilog’s legs with the strength of a thousand snakes and two oxes. "Put me down!" he begged whenever his head was lifted up for long enough for him to do more than breathe.

The troll skipped and hopped through the marshes towards Mount Zoom with such speed that Smilog assumed that the rushing winds were blocking out his cries. The troll sung an odd song to himself, the words to which Smilog could not catch, nor did he really want to.

Miserable and weary, Smilog was set down on the side of the mountain after about an hour of travel. The Troll belched loudly and then patted him on the head, saying, "Now, off you go. If anything else happens today, then I shall hold you to account."

"I'll keep that in mind," said the Dwarf.

All of a sudden, the mountain roared and the top burst into flames with such violence that all the creatures for miles around drew their gaze towards it. A great lump of rock flew straight out of the crater and soared through the air. Smilog looked down at the Troll, about whom, a large shadow was appearing and getting larger. With a roll of the eyes, the troll said, "What are you looking a-" before the boulder fell upon him. Squashing him to jelly.

"Ah," remarked Smilog, "I wonder if he's okay." but then an even more important thought entered his mind, "What if there are more boulders?" swiftly, he gathered himself up and trotted up the mountain towards Sauron's road as fast as he could.

***

"All I shaying isss-" spluttered the Barrow Wight, "Thiss wrawl wassn't ere last year!"

"You weren't here last year." pointed out Tollin, his morning star dragging along the now ruined carpet. The Barrow Wight made vague waves and slurred more than Tollin ever did while in the Labyrinths. Andvarri's eyes darted all around the place, looking for some kind of clue.

"Come along you two," he demanded, "we need to find something that will-" he was cut off by the rumbling of the mountain. A section of the floor fell though, right under Andvarri's feet. With a howl, the man disappeared through the floor and landed on a casino card table, which also broke. A roulette wheel flew off it's axel and struck a chandelier which fell onto bench, catapulting a cake into the face of an old, fat, Orc who ran into a wall, knocking a painting off the wall.

"How dare you!" cried an Orc in a tuxedo, "that was my best painting!"

"How dare yourself!" came a cry from the other end of the room and soon there was nothing but a mad melee of fighting Mordorians.

Tollin peered down at the mess and then hummed to himself before walking off down the corridor, followed, slowly and clumsily, by The Barrow Wight. A door to the left appeared to be very interesting, for it had 'keep out' signs in every language available. "Should we investigate?" said Tollin, looking sideways at The Barrow Wight who was singing a song about 'that old room with a broom'.

"In that old- what?" stuttered the Wight, "oh. Yes, yes. Jolly good. We'd better find out how long we'd have to wait." he coughed and shook himself, "ah, sorry about that, old bean. Now, yes. A door with a 'keep out' sign is interesting enough, but with so many, why I might say it was the most interesting thing for a while."

"Agreed." laughed Tollin, before pushing open the door. There before them was a long staircase that went down, down into the dark.

"Gosh," said The Barrow Wight.