|
Humphrey the troll sat on a large boulder chewing an old shoe for no particular reason that he could think of. He was just about to get up and do something constructive, 'probably build a house for those ducks' he thought glancing over at a pond full of dead ducks. He breathed deep the mouldy and polluted air and coughed from the very depths of his heart. All of a sudden, a small bundle of clothes, flesh, bone and beard fell from the sky and landed on Humphrey's head.
Smilog's head swam, and, he soon realised, the rest of his body would probably benefit from the same action. The swamp water with its deceased birds floating everywhere, smelt like small room full of fat sweaty men and rotten haddock with no air conditioning. The dwarf gave a panicked cry as soon as his head popped over the surface of the swamp. Humphrey sat on the bank with his head in his hands, sulking.
"Now they're throwing dwarves at me," he muttered, "I don't like this place. First a mountain runs over my house, then a flaming bird lands in my hair," he scratched his burnt head*, "and now this! Makes you sick!" Smilog dragged himself out of the water, coughing and spluttering in an attempt to get his breath back. The troll looked at him vaguely but seemed to interested in his own affairs.
Smilog cautiously approached and said, "Excuse me?"
"What d' you want?" grunted Humphrey, "can't you see I'm busy?"
"Not really, no." admitted the Dwarf, taking a beak out of his beard, "I'm just wondering if you can tell me how to get to the Mountain." he pointed away towards Mount Zoom, its smouldering top belching forth more black smog than a thousand steam trains.
Humphrey sighed and stood up. "I suppose so." he groaned and then took hold of Smilog by the waste and began carrying him at an inhuman speed. Understandable, seeing as he was a troll, not a human.
"Let me go!" cried Smilog in terror, "Oh good grief!"
***
Andvarri led the Barrow Wight and Tollin through several passages in Mount Zoom, insisting that he knew exactly where he was going. Yet The Barrow Wight was not so sure, "We've been here five times in the last half an hour," he said as they passed Roggie's office. Tollin nodded in agreement.
The Barrow Wight pushed the door open curiously, saying, "I wonder if he has any drink left..." slowly he peered in and saw that it was temporarily empty. Grinning and letting some rotten face skin fall down to the floor, The Barrow Wight wandered in, clicking his heels with glee. With a smile that would curdle good mik, he set about relieving Roggie of as much wine as he could. "Blast it," he said at length, "I need a bottle opener."
"Will you hurry up-sss!" cried Tollin, "We're near thhe labyrintttthhhh! You knowsss what thatss doesss to me-sss!" The Barrow Wight waved him off and search on Roggies desk for anything that could help. A paper weight in the shape of a rhino head seemed like the idea ting. Placing the horn in the cork, he pulled it loose and began to drink heartily, although some of it seeped through his stomach and fell to the ground.
Staggering out, The Barrow Wight hiccupped and patted Tollin on the back and waved the paper weight in the air, saying, "I love you, rhino!" He then hit it deep in his robes and began to follow Andvarri down the corridor.
*It is a common misconception among many people that Trolls cannot grow hair. They can, but under Sauron they were not encouraged to as it weighed them down and he needed them to march quickly.
|