[Estelyn Telcontar]

“What do you mean, they’re gone?!” Sauerkraut’s voice could be heard throughout the whole tower complex.

“Gone: departed, exited, gotten away, left, moved, pulled out, pushed off, quit, taken off, withdrawn,” Snâpp volunteered helpfully. He learned the hard way what the Dork’s handbook How to Win Enemies and Influence Dark Lords teaches in Chapter 2: Being helpful is not appreciated by sinister rulers. Unfortunately, by the time his head had grasped that fact, it had already been severed from his body.

“But how did they pass the Tower without being noticed? One does not simply walk past Dorktank – there are eléktrônik surveillance cameras that never sleep,” the Whiz-hard shouted.

“Well, those have been offline since we lost the connection in Soreham,” Kräkkel stated.

He too learned a lesson the hard way: Dark Lords do not care about facts.

“You mean that still hasn’t been fixed?? What have you all been doing all this time? For what do I pay you exorbitant salaries?!” the Boss roared.

“Umm, you don’t,” Póp piped up quite truthfully.

Lesson 1, Chapter 1: Honesty does not pay. Had he only read it while his eyes and hands were still able to coordinate!

“What have my spies found out?” bellowed Sauerkraut.

Tônithétigr reached out to give him a slip of paper, withdrawing his hand quickly just to be sure. “They found this parking receipt on the GAP parking lot,” he said.

“But it’s DAYS old – they must be far from here by now!” his emp-loyer protested.

There was no answer – those persons whose heads were still attached to their bodies had chosen to prolong that state by removing themselves from his immediate presence.

“I want them followed immediately!” exclaimed the Dark Lord of Dorktank.

“Ummm, before or after we get the surveillance cameras back online?” asked an anonymous Dork, who couldn’t have answered had someone asked him his name afterwards…