I rather liked "my proRoyal Mile" and the "Rolemessing" section (in cockney).
Reading the RPGs in cockney in the funniest part of it. I couldn't resist but to paste part of my first post for my character Raye in The chuffin' Shadows of Umbra:
In a wee village outside of Mirkwood, there were a tavern. The bloomin' tavern were quite ordinary. It were not large, right, but neever were it wee. The tavern were not old, yet it 'ad stood for many years. Business were slow that night, right, but the stormy wevver were not the bloomin' cause.
In the corner of the tavern, sat a dark, right, cloaked figure. The bleedin' wee figure did not appear intimidatin', yet all avoided it. Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. Slender 'ands 'eld a pipe, wich the cloaked figure smoked. This mesterious geezer sat there, right, as if waitin' for sumfink.
Several minutes later, a man dared ter approach the figure. Fough 'e were quite drunk, right, as 'e could not ball of chalk in a straight line, he seemed unusually focused and ravver furious. Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you? He did not put the mockers on until 'e were ten feet from the figure. The chuffin' figure leaned back, right, its arms crossed, right, showin' no fear of this man.
"Take off yor 'ood, fool," the man said. "And let me speak wiv yer."
The figure stood up and pulled off its 'ood, revealin' a bint. The tart were not beautiful, nor were she ugly. She 'ad long fiery red 'air, right, that would stand out for miles. Her skin were rough and tanned from spendin' many years in the bleedin' sun. Her mince pies were a brilliant green, but were also cold and piercin'.
The cow, Raye she were called, gave the man a smirk and responded ter his words, askin'," And woss it yer would like ter speak ter me about?"
"Yer know wot I 'ave ter say," the man growled. "Yer cheated me on that last game of darts. I want me brass back."
At this point, right, several of the chuffin' uvvers in the tavern 'ad just begun noticin' the man's confrontation wiv Raye. Many fled the bleedin' buildin', afraid ter see wot were ter happen ter the man. Uvvers sat in their seats, huddled togeffer, right, speakin' in soft wispers.
Raye paid no 'eed ter the uvvers, right, ffough. Her focus remained on the bleedin' man.
"Oh, wot a shame," she said, unmeaningfully, right? "If yer 'ad only told me that before I spent all yor brass for meself." Raye pulled out 'er dagger, init?The bloomin' drunk man, 'oom Raye considered 'elpless, did not spot the bloomin' dagger wich Raye concealed behind 'er back.
"But then again," she continued. "I spose we could 'ave a remotch. If yer win, right, yer cop the remainder of me brass and if I win, I cop nuffink." Raye began ter walk towards the chuffin' drunken fool. "Yer would like that, wouldn't yer?" Raye and the man stood Nanny Goat Race ter Nanny Goat Race, separated by only a few inches of air.
The chuffin' man nodded, no longer furious wiv the yung bint. "I would like that right much," 'e said.
Raye could spot that the bloody fool were completely ignorant of 'er lies and did not realize 'is fate. This satisfied Raye. This man would go dahn wivout a fight.
"Unfortunately," she told the bloody man. "I don't do remotches wiv any fairy." She frusted the chuffin' dagger into the bloody man's stomach.
The man doubled over in pain, but Raye did not release the dagger. "Peraps yer will remember that next time yer come across me."
The man were turnin' ravver pale, but still 'e nodded.
"Good," Raye, said pullin' the bloody dagger from the man's stomach, right, usin' it ter slice 'is froat. The chuffin' man fell ter the bloomin' ground, init?
An easy kill she fought, starin' a the dead man.
By far the bleedin' easiest yet.
She picked up 'er belongings and 'eaded out of the chuffin' tavern. The uvvers 'oo remained in the tavern cowered as she strode past them.
That's even better than the original post!
