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Old 01-14-2022, 10:24 AM   #550
Huinesoron
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: The north-west of the Old World, east of the Sea
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Huinesoron is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Huinesoron is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
A sketch! Eeeexcellent. After a quick singthrough, here are the lines that seem not to currently fit (ignoring cha-a-sms and fa-ate), along with suggestions on how we could fill the [mis][sing] [beats].

What should I sing, [] to for-get what has left me < silent beat
Crim-son the night [][] has passed over moun-tains un-dy(ing) < long 'ni-i-ght'
Strange [] how that which once broke, [] no more can be break-ing < silent beat on first, 'now' on second
(A) new dawn is ris-ing from out of the sea-sca-ttered mists < Remove 'A'.
Look thou, my heart: [] for-get his fair face and eyes bright < ???
Feel, o my heart, you are bruised like the bi-tter-est fru-uit < as noted, works with 'fruit' as two syllables.
And you're stunned by [] sum-mer's late wine < Add 'the'.
Feel, o my heart, I [] know not what course I should take < for, that, or how I
Feath-ers of dawn flar-ing up [] in mo-o-rning sky blue < 'upwards' or 'up into'? Also long 'morning' as noted.
Heed me, my heart, you are not [] trapped by a barred gate < 'no longer trapped by barred gate'?
Send your la-ment [] soar-ing sky-ward to greet him < silent beat?

Thoughts?

hS
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