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Originally Posted by Huinesoron
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Hurray! Two more down! We made it firmly over the halfway mark! And when Dream and Minions are finished, we will be down to a third. This feels like actual progress. ^.^
On a different note - you're right, the
sketch is totally the place to start. That was uphill work. For one thing, normal cords are such a rarity here. Why does it all have to be slightly off-harmony and weird? And then the non-repeats. It
wants to repeat. It
starts repeating. But then somewhere through the stanza it breaks the pattern and goes its own way. Wind - each "second" of the pair of stanzas was in a higher key than the first, but it does repeat over the 3 pairs of stanzas. Meeting is just non-repetitive by nature, each section is its own thing. Heart
wants to be like Wind, but ends up being like Meeting. It is so discombobulating.
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Originally Posted by Hui
A-la-ya noch' ot-stu-pa-yet za gor-nyy khre-bet.
Crim-son the / night / has passed o-ver / moun-tains / un-dy-ing
I think it technically does fit, but the natural way to sing it is to stretch "night" over "noch' ot". Can we fix it with a simple "o'er"? I think the final syllables natch up.
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The problem here is not as pronounced with the sketch as it was when I was a'capella'ing to V2, so maybe we can get away with it. The problem is not in the middle of the line, but the last syllable. In Russian it ends sharply on the downbeat, and "un-DY-ing" has the extra off-beat at the end. It sounded pretty bad with V2, but with the sketch, without Ripsime, it could probably pass unnoticed.
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Originally Posted by Hui
I think that's what I was doing. The problem is that the emphasis falls on the penultimate syllable, so we'd end up with "the pathways of HIS (fate)", which is just... wrong.
How is that second one a BBC? GTranslate gives the six final words as pustoy / vodoyu / bredut // sud'boy / soboyu / svetu, which looks about as solid an ABC/AB(C) as you could get.
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Hmm, yeah, "fa-ate" probably will just need to be that. Again, if you don't know better, perhaps it could go unnoticed.
And - "sud'boyu". I think this already happened, in Meeting or something, where a word can be said 2 ways with a different syllable count. But again, on reflection - meh. Unless you expect a BBC there, it works perfectly fine as a ABC/ABC (like indeed all the rest of the song!).
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Originally Posted by Hui
"Heart" was a really difficult song to fit the lyrics too, I admit: partly because we only had one performance, and partly because it just... crams words into every line. I think we'll have something that works, and works well, but yeah, it's going to be one of the loosest adaptations. (Which is fair, given that we've already got six! different! translations! of "Сердце мое".)
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Agreed. It's probably one of the most difficult ones both for music and lyrics. (Though the most difficult to translate was probably Duel with its twisty rhyming scheme and short lines, and you made it a masterpiece!)