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Old 07-21-2020, 09:58 AM   #145
Huinesoron
Overshadowed Eagle
 
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: The north-west of the Old World, east of the Sea
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Huinesoron is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Huinesoron is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55 View Post
I think it should. You're rhyming "forest" and "daughter", right? If they should match up with "suprugoy / lyubimoy", that still leaves 5 syllables available for the last line. Besides, Thingol's internal rhymes aren't very strong or consistent; f.ex. in his second stanza the "leftover" line after the meh internal rhyme is 6 syllables. You tend to shift the rhymes to later in the line, which works just as well and even better, to be honest. Russian Thingol is not big on the internal rhyming, if it's there it's a bonus.
Great! We'll go with that, then. ^_^

Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55 View Post
Thingol and Melian hung out in the wood for years, but they will have us believe that they spent the whole time staring into each other's eyes. ^.^
"... it was a very long look."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55 View Post
Do you think it will be more Tolkienish with "I hear the last horn's dying call"?
It might be, actually. I'm not sure; do what you think sounds best?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55 View Post
Squeeeee! Now I have to watch it and do a sing-along before my shift starts.
Make sure to note all the places it's gone wrong!

hS
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