Link to the English Libretto, since it's been a while.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55
So my Sil timeline must be completely off - though I suppose a good number of those 2000 years were spent before the Exile, and I have absolutely no clue how many years - centuries, even - happened in those chapters.
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Yeah, the idea that the Years of the Trees were ten times longer makes the pre-Sun timeline kind of wonky. But we're at least 460 years after Sunrise at this point, so they're pretty old whatever.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55
"The" sticks out just a tiiiny bit, and "Day has come" is weird. Could it become "Time/hour has come", perhaps?
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In this hour, my fair city
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55
Squeeee! I'm really happy that this line retained it's moral ambiguity: we lost our blood fighting Morgoth vs we killed Morgoth's armies vs we butchered innocent people. They obviously don't mean the last, but Finrod echoes exactly that meaning, and I think it's delightful.
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Oh yeah, I could see the ambiguity here, and was very careful to keep it. At one point it was "By the blood we've shed, you can trust our judgement", but I couldn't find a rhyme, and the dual meanings of "we've got experience" and "we're trustworthy" in "our word" are fun.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55
For the first line, I would suggest "and I stand revealed". [Edit: actually, never mind. It works better without the "and", if the emphasis falls as "I bare MY soul"]
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Yeah, the emphasis was deliberate (I think!).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55
For the second - did you change up the meaning intentionally? Because it's not exactly what the original says, but it's so ON POINT.
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Um... no? :-/ The subtitles give:
Now this bare soul can find no aid in a sword, nor protection in a shield
Which I thought is what I was going for.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55
Spellcheck on "like". Fixed it in the Doc.
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"Love", to echo Finrod earlier.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55
"So I am" would probably sit better. You have shortened lines fairly frequently, and they mostly still work - but this one is so easy to unshorten that my fingers itched.
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's not my fault! They sing so fast!
I'm being driven batty by the fact that the Lay of Leithian so very nearly scans to this song. And, since we've got Appendix A in there specifically for stuff like this...
NARRATOR:
True the words he spoke, for when the king
To all his people told of this thing
And spake of the oath to Barahir
And how that mortal with shield and spear
Had saved them from Morgoth and from woe
On northern battlefields long ago.
Then were many kindled within their hearts
Once more to battle. But up there starts
Amid the throng, and he loudly cries
for all to hear, one with flaming eyes
proud Celegorm with the gleaming hair
and his shining sword. All men then stare
Upon his stern and unyielding face
And an awful hush falls upon that place.
CELEGORM:
Be he friend or foe, or foul demon wild
Of Morgoth, Elf, or a mortal child
Or any else that here on earth may dwell
No law, nor love, nor a league of hell
No might of Valar, no binding spell
Shall him defend from the hatred fell
Of Feanor's sons, whoso take or steal
Or on finding keep our Silmaril!
These we alone do declare our right
Our thrice-enchanted jewels so bright!
hS