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Run, Frodo, run away home!

We catch a glimpse of those trolls about which Bilbo entertained the hobbit children. Frodo is looking a bit sick, and his clamminess makes me prefer the sight of the trolls. He's gone from the whiny Frodo to the gasping Frodo, and this does not garner any sympathy from me. Sam is present as always, and he dutifully looks after his master. Pippin shows wonderful bedside manner, and I'm surprised that he didn't ask about funeral arrangements for his cousin.

I didn't spot any bird nest ear wear on a troll, but I didn't look very closely either. Regardless, the inclusion of the trolls was another gem.

The wraiths are close by, as we can hear their calls, and Frodo preemptively shudders before they wail. But what's to fear? Our merry group has torches and swords, and that sent five of the Black Riders packing before. Sam is sent by Strider to find kingsfoil, or athelas. I must have watched Shrek too many times as I cannot not but make the comparison between Sam and Donkey.

Strider draws his knife to cut some of the kingsfoil, and the 'snick' sound makes me wonder from where the blade comes. Is the sheath on his wrist? But before we ponder that too much, we see Aragorn caught off guard, his head the property of the sword owner. Not once did I think that this was the enemy, as they were not so subtle or delicate. And Aragorn is not mistaken for Duncan MacLeod.

It's Arwen! And she taunts Aragorn. Such is love.

Frodo sees Arwen as she is on the other side, glowing brightly. It's not explained that he sees her like this due to his wound (newly insightful) or due to his wound (passing into the wraith world). Any bells on that horse? Though I would have preferred Glorfindel, can't say that I mind seeing Liv Tyler as here she in angelic.

Until I read what she says. "I am Arwen. I have come to help you." Ouch! What prose! I guess "Me Arwen; you Frodo. Me help He-Hobbit," was too difficult to translate into Elvish. And I understand Arwen appearing angelic, but what's with the clothes? Do they also appear as they would 'on the other side?' How Matrix!

As Strider munches on some 'foil, Arwen examines Frodo's wound. No mention about why the wound is bad, and also no clue regarding the healing properties of athelas. So why include it?

Arwen updates us as to what's happening. Five wraiths behind, four elsewhere and she's been looking for them for two days. How did she and Elrond know? And then we have a prenuptial disagreement regarding who can get Frodo to Rivendell faster. As much as I'm against having Arwen here, I do like that she states that she does not fear the wraiths. Then again, as she can best Aragorn, can probably make fire, just what does she have to fear...except for more bad dialogue?

Sam makes a valid point (though did he need to yell?) but it's not indicated that the wraiths will leave the others alone and pursue Frodo. But from the horse chase, I guess that that is implied.

Now, I like Arwen as the heroine, but this diminishes Frodo to mere baggage. More scenery long shots - love them. Then we see the Black Riders closing in. The tension builds. The scene in which Arwen plays tag with the Riders looks fake. The trees look planted and farmed; not what one would expect. And Arwen is wounded! Must be a stray Black Huorn roaming the woods. So the wraiths catch up, almost close enough to grab the mostly dead Frodo from his perch. Arwen starts some evasive maneuvers, and this gives her some space. Somehow, with the log hopping and quick turns, I get the feeling that PJ was going for a 'car-chase' scene in ME.

Finally Arwen reaches the Ford. She turns and faces the Nine, who assemble on the other side of the stream/river. The black horses blanch at the river's edge, and seem loathe to enter the water.

And now for the WORST MOVIE LINE EVER! "Give up the halfling, She-Elf!" What were the writers thinking? Cut Bombadil, break Gandalf's staff, debase dwarves, put PJ in every other scene, but this? Initially I didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or cry. So much for a literary masterpiece. There just aren't words, and I can only assume that this is some joke played by an alien species or the result of a Faustian devil deal.

Now Arwen (did I mention that we just heard the worst dialogue ever? Just want to be sure that I'm clear on that) shows some moxie and taunts the Nine. Great moment, but still tainted by the recent not to be spoken event. And though Arwen is cool, where's Frodo? Doesn't one claim baggage, by the by?

Where's the standing up in the saddle in defiance? "Go back, go back to Mordor" or was it "To Mordor we will take you?" Sorry, but still don't have my books, but did recover my FotR CDs. Anyway, would have liked some show from Frodo that he wasn't just along for the ride, but alas, Frodo's not the most important character here.

So the Nine draw their swords and start fording the stream. Here's a clue. If the rabbit that you're chasing suddenly stops, turns, bares its teeth and waits for you, you might want to reconsider that you might be walking into a trap. But the Nine must have figured that Arwen was bereft of torches and Aragorn couldn't throw one from such a distance, and so they were safe.

Arwen's chanting brings images of the movie Dragonslayer, and the Latin that I learned therein. What's that? One of the wraith turns to see a wall of water heading towards he and the other eight. Now, when we see the wide shot Arwen appears to be a horse length or two from the nearest wraith. Now, if I were a wraith I'd stay close to the ....I can't say it...Arwen. Or, in a fit of madness, return to the other side. Either prospect looks better than staying in the direct path of the flood. But I forgot, the Ringwraiths are guys. Prideful guys at that. And there was a female present, and as indicated by the dialogue, you might assume that these wraiths don't get out much and so are a bit clumsy around such beauty. So you can see them thinking, "Ya, I can outrun that! And that Elf will think that I'm cool."

I've done worse and more stupid, and so can sympathize.

But having Glorfindel/Arwen, Aragorn and the three hobbits bearing torches, keeping the wraiths in the water would have made more sense and be closer to the books, but whatever. At least the horse-headed waves, whether created by Gandalf or a computer, were included.

Anyway, the Nine presumably are destroyed.

The excitement is too much for Frodo and he collapses. Could he be trying to get CPR from Arwen? She comforts/holds him like a small child and starts to cry. And she asks that the grace given to her be passed to Frodo. Now did she just say, "Let him live as he was such a nice piece of baggage?" or "When the last ship sails, let him take my place?"

After some vertigo Frodo awakens in white. Heaven (maybe he's dead?), or overexposed? Was anyone fooled? And then we here a most-welcome voice. We find that Frodo yet lives, and is in the last homely house of Elrond on October the 24th. Surely that timestamp would allow us to figure out where we are, timeline-wise. The architecture is stunning. I wasn't sure what 'elf' would look like, and still not sure that this is it, but it may be close.

Gandalf (I love the way he looks here, smoking and all) states that Frodo has some strength in him, presumably because he...well...there was that one time...I have no clue?!? Well, he didn't die, so he must be strong, and he survived the 'dialogue of the Ford,' and if that didn't make him retch...

The excellent clip when Frodo asks of Gandalf's absence is perfect. Frodo wants to know, still looking ill, and Gandalf starts to remember something unpleasant regarding his delay.

We flash back to Orthanc where Saruman is literally mopping the floor with Gandalf. Then, in gangster fashion, Saruman hangs Gandalf over the edge by his feet. Saruman rants on about embracing the power of the Ring, and I can only assume that he wants Gandalf to join Sauron's team. Think that that could have been better put. More threats from the White Wizard, but what's this? A moth flutters by. As the eagle enters from behind Saruman Gandalf gives him a clue regarding power-sharing amongst Maia. Doesn't happen. And with that, Gandalf does some base jumping and leaps onto the back of Gwaihir. Saruman, bearing the same tree scratch as Arwen (that Huorn must still be on the loose), watches Gandalf fly away, and mutters something about him choosing death. Ah, look around, and exactly whom is choosing to snuff out all of the green?

Now, the scene was okay and all, but as later we see more of Saruman's powers (fireball, lightning, storm), I can only assume that he meant for Gandalf to escape. Was this why later the brainwashed Gandalf is for attempting the Gap of Rohan with the bearer? Gandalf the mole? Hmmm?

Frodo prompts Gandalf, and we're back in the present to continue the scene.

Now, as Frodo doesn't hear what we've just seen, does Frodo know of Saruman's treachery? Of Gandalf's humiliation?

Sam finds his Master awake, and is excited as any dog would be. Elrond welcomes Frodo, and now that I've seen The Matrix a few times, it's hard not to hear...well, you know who speaking.

The far shot of the valley stronghold of Imladris looks most enchanting, almost Thomas Kinkade-ish, and some hooded figure treads the path most likely taken by Bilbo many years ago when he came here with a pack of dwarves. We move to the shot where Frodo leans on the balcony as we see Elrond's house. A farsighted elf, that, as he made the balcony by which Frodo stands to be hobbit height. I did not catch this in the movie nor in the image in some news magazine that someone brought to my attention. Think that PJ even jokes about the obvious gaffe. The height of the rail would just be right for tripping wine-saturated elves and sending them to the valley floor.

More meetings as the four hobbits gather. Next we see what became of that old oddity Bilbo. My, he has aged. Now it's only been just over an hour in reel time, but as I'm not sure how long it's been in ME time, I can only guess that Bilbo shouldn't be as old looking as he is now. His statement that age finally caught up with him makes me believe that it was a short time. The Ring gives long life, but bereft of it I guess one does not simply continue on normally, but must then become the age that one actually is.

But how then is Gollum still walking?

Frodo reviews his uncle's book, and I bet that if you looked closely (and had the time) that what appears on the page is real and not just some squiggles. The map of the Shire and Howard Shore's score pulls at Frodo's heart, and we know that he wants to go home. Frodo also states that he's not like his adventuresome uncle, and Bilbo is very sympathetic to the feelings of his nephew. When I'd read the same in the books, and having read the Hobbit first, I was *so* glad that Frodo wasn't like his uncle.

Sam begins packing, as he too is ready to return to the safety and calm of the Shire. He feels that he got Frodo and the Ring to where others would take over the burden, and now it was time to go. We get a few minutes of home, home, home, and anyone watching movies just knows that the hobbits have just cursed themselves to more adventure.

Elrond and Gandalf discuss Frodo, and Elrond points out Frodo's resiliency. I can only assume that he means that as Frodo made it from the Shire to Rivendell while traveling with Pippin, that he is immune to stupidity-induced collateral damage. Gandalf pleads that Frodo has done enough, and Elrond starts losing it and points out every shadow and blade of grass aligned against Rivendell. We need this hobbit!

Wasn't it Gandalf making the argument for Frodo in the books?

We learn about Saruman's Uruks, that they can run fast and are immune to sunlight. Saruman is coming for the Ring. The Ringwraiths of Sauron failed, yet the Uruks will triumph?

And I'm not sure that Gandalf wanted the Ring to stay in Rivendell, but that he wanted to spare Frodo.

More people join the party. Boromir's shield immediately identifies him. The close-up of Bloom lets me know that this 'could' be Legolas, but I wouldn't be sure until later. The dwarf shown would then be Gimli. The Fellowship has gathered and now the parts only require some assembly.

Elrond's still ranting, stating that for the elves that it's "game over." He disparages the dwarves, and Gandalf is left to choose men as the saviors of ME. I guess that this is the point PJ made sure to emphasize, and that's how we got Aragorn fighting wraiths and Frodo as baggage. Elrond has no use for men, as he remembers Isildur.

An aside: I just love the detail in the fore and background of Elrond's ranting scenes. SO much stuff for a shot lasting a few seconds.

A quick jump back 3000 years (hey, that Elrond guy is old!) to see why Elrond has little faith in men. Now, if Elrond understood anything about humans, and even a little about humans with Rings of power, he could have handled the situation a little differently and increased his chances of success. Sure, yell at Isildur and order him to do something. Stay in front of him so that he can refuse to follow. Yell his name like he's a child.

Now, try it this way. Taunt Isildur that he's not 'man enough' to throw the Ring into the fire. Keep him between you and the Crack. Offer him something more shiny. And when all else fails, shoot him.

Anyway, think that Elrond has been holding a grudge? Can you see, as an elf, sitting at his table day after day and night after night and all he talks about is that one time men failed, for three thousand years! Now we know why the elves are leaving. Okay, we get it already, move on.

Gandalf seems to think that there's some human out there that could pull the human race together and finally put an end to Elrond's gripe. Just wonder who *that* could be? Aragorn? Did Gandalf just say that he could be the King of Gondor or something? But we hear that he chose exile. Or maybe he's just biding his time.

Boromir meets Aragorn, who is sitting quietly in the dark...reading. Think that the book title is "Uniting the Free Folk and Delivering ME from the Dark Lord: For Dummies." What is Boromir looking at? If that's supposed to be a painting of Isildur's showdown with Sauron, then they weren't watching the same movie that I was. And if you look closely at the mural, you can see the image of Elrond painted in the background, shaking his head.

Boromir is likeable enough, and Sean Bean does well by him. Boromir befriends Aragorn initially, though I wasn't sure why Mr. King'n'Exile introduces himself as a friend of the grey pilgrim. Finding the shards of Narsil excites Boromir, though his excitement is short-lived once he cuts his finger. Somehow he suddenly realizes that Aragorn is someone else, and so he leaves disgusted, dropping the revered Narsil on the floor.

None of that worked for me. First, Boromir's a warrior, and so I would assume that he merely looking at a blade would know if it were sharp. And the connection between Isildur and Aragorn's a bit of a jump. And then he carelessly discards this heirloom that he just was excited about. Huh?

Strider retrieves the fallen blade, takes its measure then returns it to its display...towel. He salutes the blade or the stature on which is rests.

Arwen's back. We learn possibly why Boromir was upset and why Aragorn doesn't want to be associated with Isildur. But you see what you get when you're raised by an elf with a 3000 year old grudge.

Elrond calls to a man-child. "Come here, boy. I want to tell you a story." Young Arry sits on his foster-father's lap. "Did you know that your ancestor is Isildur?" Arry starts to squirm. "Now just hold still. See, about 3000 years ago..."

Aragorn has issues. Think I know where they came from. Luckily he has the love of a woman to help him heal.

Cue romantic interlude. Think that Liv Tyler said that Viggo made sure that they used elvish dialogue and not common speech here. Now I know that this scene was placed in the movie for those 'daters' in the theater. See? I told you that it was a romantic movie. I even sent the bridge scene eCard, available from the website, to my wife. PJ may have taken some liberties, but he knew what he was doing here.

Ah, sweet romance in a fantasy movie.

We see the Evenstar, which may work for some but to me too much is made of this piece of elven glass. I assume that it's symbolic for Arwen's love and immortality, but I'd rather do without it. PJ will make use of it in the Two Towers.

Then we get the bomb when Arwen chooses mortality. Aragorn correctly rejects the gift at first - isn't that proper etiquette? - then accepts.

The kiss follows soon after.

So, in the words of Inigo Montoya, to sum up: we have the five hobbits and the Ring in Rivendell, Gandalf's back, Elrond's nonplussed, Aragorn's a King and loved by Arwen, we have other assorted elves, dwarves and men gathering about. Something's about to happen with so many meetings, but what?