FY-HL-21: In the way the events are arranged here, I would not use this title at all. Where does this sub-chapter end?
We could consider to arrange the story differently and start with telling about the War first and then leave Aragorn, Peregrin & co. at the Morannon, while recounting Frodo’s journey from Emil Muil to the destruction of the Ring and the flight to the isle in the lava under this sub-title. But I wood not do so and simply leave the sub title out.
WR-SL-06: Why do we change from ‘meet’ to ‘greeted’ and not to ‘met’?
WR-SL-09: Is it Aragorn alone, who initiated the attack on Mordor? I don’t think so:
Quote:
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After the victory (and destruction of the Captain of the Black Riders) WR-SL-09{the Book ends in}there began the last desperate deed of the West.
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WR-SL-12 &
WR-SL-14: I think we should include both. As said before we can assume that our reads have a fair knowledge of both
The Hobbit and
LotR. And even if not we may assume that they will read these books later. Any case such links are rather to be welcomed and not deleted.
WR-SL-12: I would edit this a bit differently:
Quote:
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… WR-SL-15{The scene shifts back to the exact moment at which Book Five ended. We see and hear now}The captains of the West saw and heared from afar the same shattering ruin. The forces of Sauron, …
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WR-SL-22: First: There are typo’s here: there are two full stops before ‘but’. I suppose these must be comae. The same after ‘invaded’ in the next paragraph.
For a time I thougth,that this might be put in earlier, but after reading the full chapter I agree with the placement.
Congratulations, very nicely edited!
Respectfully
Findegil