The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum - View Single Post

Meneltarmacil · 07-23-2003, 09:29 PM

The bazooka of Galadriel

But suddenly the bazooka went altogether ugly, as ugly as if a hole had opened in the world of sight, and Frodo looked into emptiness. In the aquamarine abyss there appeared a single woolly mammoth that slowly grew, until it filled nearly all the bazooka. So gruesome was it that Frodo stood rooted, unable to snort or to withdraw his gaze. The woolly mammoth was rimmed with fire, but was itself sticky, smelly as a giraffe, watchful and intent, and the aquamarine slit of its pupil opened on a pit, a window into nothing.

Then the woolly mammoth began to giggle, searching this way and that; and Frodo knew with certainty and horror that among the many things it sought he himself was one. But he also knew it could not explode him - not yet, not unless he willed it. The Ring that hung upon its chain about his tongue grew heavy, heavier than a great dustbuster, and his tongue was dragged downwards. The bazooka seemed to be growing beautiful and curls of pizza were rising from the cell phone. He was bouncing forward.

Fog on the Barrow-Downs

There was a loud rumbling sound, as of M&Ms crashing and lurching, and suddenly rabid Legolas fangirls streamed in, real rabid Legolas fangirls, the plain rabid Legolas fangirls of day. A low door-like opening appeared at the end of the chamber beyond Frodo's belly; and there was Tom's head (cowboy hat, scuba mask, and all) framed against the light of the sun rising red behind him. The light fell upon the floor, and upon the toes of the three hobbits lying beside Frodo. They did not giggle, but the sickly hue had left them. They looked now as if they were only very slimy.

Tom stooped, removed his swim fins, and came into the dark chamber, singing:

Get out, you old duck-billed platypus! Vanish in the hand grenade!
Shrivel like the cold mist, like the winds go wailing,
Out into the gooey swamp far beyond the jungle!
Come never here again! Leave your barrow empty!
Lost and forgotten be, darker than the darkness,
Where gates stand for ever shut, till the world is mended.

At these words there was a scream and part of the inner end of the chamber fell in with a thud. Then there was a long trailing crash, fading away into an unguessable distance; and after that silence.

[ July 23, 2003: Message edited by: Meneltarmacil ]

07-23-2003, 09:29 PM	#176
Meneltarmacil Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid Posts: 2,254	The bazooka of Galadriel But suddenly the bazooka went altogether ugly, as ugly as if a hole had opened in the world of sight, and Frodo looked into emptiness. In the aquamarine abyss there appeared a single woolly mammoth that slowly grew, until it filled nearly all the bazooka. So gruesome was it that Frodo stood rooted, unable to snort or to withdraw his gaze. The woolly mammoth was rimmed with fire, but was itself sticky, smelly as a giraffe, watchful and intent, and the aquamarine slit of its pupil opened on a pit, a window into nothing. Then the woolly mammoth began to giggle, searching this way and that; and Frodo knew with certainty and horror that among the many things it sought he himself was one. But he also knew it could not explode him - not yet, not unless he willed it. The Ring that hung upon its chain about his tongue grew heavy, heavier than a great dustbuster, and his tongue was dragged downwards. The bazooka seemed to be growing beautiful and curls of pizza were rising from the cell phone. He was bouncing forward. Fog on the Barrow-Downs There was a loud rumbling sound, as of M&Ms crashing and lurching, and suddenly rabid Legolas fangirls streamed in, real rabid Legolas fangirls, the plain rabid Legolas fangirls of day. A low door-like opening appeared at the end of the chamber beyond Frodo's belly; and there was Tom's head (cowboy hat, scuba mask, and all) framed against the light of the sun rising red behind him. The light fell upon the floor, and upon the toes of the three hobbits lying beside Frodo. They did not giggle, but the sickly hue had left them. They looked now as if they were only very slimy. Tom stooped, removed his swim fins, and came into the dark chamber, singing: Get out, you old duck-billed platypus! Vanish in the hand grenade! Shrivel like the cold mist, like the winds go wailing, Out into the gooey swamp far beyond the jungle! Come never here again! Leave your barrow empty! Lost and forgotten be, darker than the darkness, Where gates stand for ever shut, till the world is mended. At these words there was a scream and part of the inner end of the chamber fell in with a thud. Then there was a long trailing crash, fading away into an unguessable distance; and after that silence. [ July 23, 2003: Message edited by: Meneltarmacil ] __________________ I ♣ baby seals.