My unfortunate room mates (who know naught and care not of this blessed realm where I now reside) have repeatedly promised to do me in, and I ended up begging them to release my spirit from the burden of living. Alas, they tried to many times: choking me, pushing me off the balcony... But they're so incompetent, they can never finish the job...
In the end, the sweet(er than miruvor) but deadly combination of coffee+vodka that I was in the habbit of savouring satisfied my death wish and left me cold and Blue.
And this is how I came to join this realm I had before only dreamt of. *bliss*