Name: Lalwende
Quest: To live by the sea. Better keep burning those fossil fuels then.
Favourite colour: The strange hues of refracted light. That colour which you sense is there but you cannot quite see.
Most beloved Tolkien character: Bilbo.
Least beloved Tolkien character: Turgon.
Worst habit: Smoking, second breakfast, swearing and sarcasm. Ssssss.....
Best habit: Please and thank you. Knowing the uses of apostrophes.
Unlikeliest celebrity crush: I crushed Tom Shippey's toe once. Oh, I'm being pedantic, aren't I? Well, I have a peculiar fascination with Lucius Malfoy's walking cane and swishing cloak...
Weirdest hobby: I made a sixty foot long, six stitch wide piece of knitting out of wool oddments. It began when I was a child, because I could not cast off, but then I thought I might as well carry on with it. It remains unfinished as I never did learn to cast off properly.
Best place in Middle Earth: The Shire.
Best place outside of Middle Earth: Alqualonde. Or, if I'm not going to be pedantic, anywhere by the sea, e.g. Whitby, St.Michael's Mount and Galloway.
Most embarrassing moment: I could write a book about this kind of thing. My personal favourite is falling head first into a dustbin, getting stuck and then falling over and rolling around on the floor whilst remaining firmly stuck inside the bin. This was highly amusing for all.
Less amusing perhaps was the time I had to run from an event as I felt sick. This event was being held by several very prominent public figures. At least I will be one of the 'masses' who they will
not forget.
Most daring moment: 'Dealing with' the worst bully in my school who was picking on my friend. I got a round of applause and warm thanks from the teacher.
Favourite "LotR" actor: Sean Bean, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Ian McKellen, Bernard Hill...
Least favourite "LotR" actor: Craig Parker for "camping up" Haldir.
Theme song: It changes from one day to the next, as I am fond of my music (some may disagree that it is all 'music'), and it's far easier to say what I don't like than what I do. But if you listen to The Fall or The Pixies, you may think of me.
Style guru: Marc Bolan and a mad tramp.
Most crucial accessory: Ciggies, money, shades, phone, mp3 player, in that order.
Greatest weakness: Tobacco. Kittens. Ebay. The snooze button.
Greatest strength: My Jedi powers.
Favourite place to visit on the Downs: Anywhere that debate rages or anarchy reigns.
Best Downer Buddy: Duh!
Parting shot: You're
sorry? You b****y
will be.