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Old 10-09-2003, 03:41 PM   #77
Estelyn Telcontar
Princess of Skwerlz
 
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles)
Posts: 7,645
Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!
Silmaril

Falafel and Tweedledee cantered in companionable silence - unfortunately, for Falafel was feeling rather lonely and wishing for a companionable conversation, a wish that remained unfulfilled, since Tweedledee was a mere rent-a-mare and not an heroic steed with the gift of speech. Their riders made up for the silence – well, mostly Pimpiowyn did, talking animatedly to Merisuwyniel without noticing that her sympathetic responses sounded somewhat mechanical. The Elven maiden was much too polite to just ignore the Half-Halfling’s words and too good-natured to show her dejected feelings, but a more observant listener might have noticed a wistfulness in her eyes when she thought no one was watching her.

Her mind wandered back to the Goldlamé Hall. She was, of course, much too modest to wish for the fame of stardom, and yet… The taste of stage performance that she had experienced was just enough to whet her appetite. She did not wish for the cheap publicity of a show like the ‘Sorethighhim Idol’; her taste was nobler, higher, perhaps too much so for the common people? But she could educate the masses to a higher cultural level, perhaps. Even the terror of her previous dreams and the unpleasant experience of Grimy Hasbeen’s amorous advances could not quench the tiny flame that grew steadily within her breast. (Translator’s note: Which breast is not specified in the manuscript.)

However, as the wise and observant leader of the Whatevership, she gradually took notice of the debate going on amongst the males of their company. They had lagged behind, ostensibly making sure that the heavy burden of the Entish Thighs was not too much for the cart. She had a suspicion that they wished to recreate the bonds of male companionship which they had experienced in Soreham, and listened to their conversation, tuning one Elven ear to its masculine tones while still listening to Pimpi’s tirade with the other. (Her eyes, by the way, were busy taking in the impressions of the massive advertising campaign on the newly erected billboards and trying to find something good in them – after all, the cheery colours – well, no, they were just garish… But the interesting messages? She sighed; sometimes being positive was so strenuous! …as was multi-tasking… )

“I should very much like to see the site of so many heroic manly deeds,” said Etceteron.

“Indeed, the Sorethighhim were ever courageous allies of the Grundorians, and their fortress, the Hornyburg, could not be taken while manned,” Orogarn (Two, of course) exclaimed.

“What wonderful lays must have been penned of their deeds,” mused Vogonwë. “Perhaps I could write an ode in memory…”

Kuruharan hastened to interrupt him. “Do you remember the Glitzy Caverns of Ham Steep, Chrysophylax?” he asked the dragon. “Such wonderful strobes and mirrorballs – there was an endless pilgrimage of hip people who came to dance there. Your Workmud parties, Vogonwë, are but provincial picnics compared with its vast discos – immeasurable dancefloors, filled with never-ending music played by the coolest disc-jockeys of Muddled-Mirth.”

Grrralph’s interest perked up noticeably at the mention of music; however, he remained silent as usual, waiting to see what the others would say and do.

The Gateskeeper agreed enthusiastically – he had his own reasons for wanting to visit the fortifications. Perhaps he could get away from the others just long enough to use his portable Cell-antír and call Mogûl with the news of the Entish Thighs. He will be pleased at my clever handling of the situation, he thought.

Oh no, Merisuwyniel groaned inwardly. More Sorethighhim men means there will be more drinking and rear-slapping male shenanigans – I must appear to grant their request, yet keep the Fe-Maleship together.

“I too desire to see this impressive union of strength and beauty,” she proclaimed. “It will scarcely take us out of our way, and perhaps it will inspire us to heroic deeds of our own,” she added, smiling at Pimpiowyn. “Take care that the wagon with the Entish Thighs is kept under control – the ascent is steep indeed.”

Chrysophylax flew ahead, the lovelorn Nazgrrl close behind him. Soon the rest of them saw the walls of ancient stone, within them a lofty tower. A mighty fortress indeed - indestructible, imperishable, incorruptible, inexterminable, inextinguishable, immutable, unalterable, unchangeable, perpetual, durable, enduring, lasting, permanent, unquenchable… (OK, I guess you get the idea.)
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'
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