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Besides which, whatever tone Tolkien is saying he tried to achieve and whether it suited the work does not square with the fact that it was meant to be written by Hobbits. The same hobbits who wrote book one.
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Well, I think that the Letter quoted by Squatter shows that Tolkien certainly intended to highlight the difference in the styles of speech adopted by the rustic and down-to-earth Hobbits on the one hand and by the Kings of Men on the other. Whether it works or not is clearly a matter of opinion.
I was poking around the BBC's Big Read forum earlier today, and there are numerous examples of clearly well-read and erudite individuals who find that Tolkien's style is not to their taste. And part of this arises from the archaic tone adopted in parts of the Book, I am sure. For example, I saw a number of comments made by people to the effect that they loved the Hobbit but could not get on with LotR. And the one thread that I saw discussing the Silmarillion clearly indicated that this is very much an acquired taste (which I can appreciate having given up on it myself first time round).
But there are also a significant number of people for whom Tolkien's style works, and who see no problem in reconciling the different styles. And, this being the case, I don't see how this can be described, from an objective standpoint, as a flaw. As I said, it is a matter of opinion. For my own part, I had never previously noticed the difference in styles (on a conscious level at least), so it clearly didn't jar with me. And reflecting on it now, I can appreciate the way in which this serves to assist the reader in the journey from the cosy world of the Shire to the wider world and the great events that are unfolding there.
As for the Hobbits' authorship, is it stretching the imagination too much to suppose that Hobbits who had mixed with the nobility of Rohan and Gondor might adopt their tone when describing their part in the War of the Ring? Certainly, it makes sense that those seeking to create an accurate record of the events (as the Red Book of Westmarch is intended to be) would use the style of speech employed by them when recording their words.