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I think, part of the issue to place Mîms Klage, is that we are unsure of which events it reffers to. If the spitting into the sand is unconnected to the chocking smoke and near vomitting of the line before, then your placement is not that bad. But I would consider putting it in even earlier, so that the freindship with Túrin becomes the result of Mîm's statment in the end, that it is not good that he has such bad relationship to his 'neighnous'.
Respectfully
Findegil
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