Tolkien wrote to a reader of
The Lord of the Rings explaining his intentions with regard to Éowyn and Faramir. The following are his comments, grouped by character.
Quote:
Eowyn: It is possible to love more than one person (of the other sex) at the same time, but in a different mode and intensity. I do not think that Eowyn's feelings for Aragorn really changed much; and when he was revealed as so lofty a figure , in descent and office, she was able to go on loving and admiring him. He was old, and that is not only a physical quality: when not accompanied by any physical decay age can be alarming or awe-inspiring. Also she was not herself ambitious in the true political sense. Though not a 'dry-nurse' in temper, she was also not really a soldier or 'amazon', but like many brave women was capable of great military gallantry at a crisis.
...Faramir. He was daunted by his father: not only in the ordinary way of a family with a stern proud father of great force of character, but as a Númenórean before the chief of the one surviving Númenórean state. He was motherless and sisterless (Eowyn was also motherless), and had a 'bossy' brother. He had been accustomed to giving way and not giving his own opinions air, while retaining a power of command among men, such as a man may obtain who is evidently personally courageous and decisive, but also fair-minded and scrupulously just, and very merciful. I think he understood Eowyn very well... [here Tolkien explains the importance of Faramir's rôle as Prince of Ithilien and Steward of Gondor in the early years of Aragorn's reign]
Criticism of the speed of the relationship or 'love' of Faramir and Eowyn. In my experience feelings and decisions may ripen very quickly (as measured by mere 'clock time', which is actually not justly applicable) in periods of great stress, and especially under the expectation of imminent death. And I do not think that persons of high estate and breeding need all the petty fencing and approaches in matters of 'love'. This tale does not deal with a period of 'Courtly Love' and its pretences; but with a culture more primitive (sc. less corrupt) and nobler.
Letter #244 (draft) - response to a lost criticism from an unnamed reader.
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In case Tolkien is at all ambiguous here, in another letter he refuses to defend "the theme of mistaken love seen in Eowyn and her first love for Aragorn".
From Tolkien's comments above it becomes clear that Éowyn and Faramir are rather well-suited, with a lot in common. The various other aspects of their personalities and conditions are also extremely useful when trying to understand these two characters. I hope that it proves useful.