Elenrod: Today: Valinoreans arrive in Middle-earth and lay the smackdown on some petty tyrant. It’s not like they haven’t been doing it for ages. Meanwhile, in Doriath, scoring contest disappoints as Real Valinor and Hithlum put up only four goals, with Túrin getting none. Elsewhere: did anyone say goals? Dragon goals galore as Glaurung put two past the smouldering crater that was Minas Tirith, and Smaug and Scatha exchange blows in a draconic derby. And, finally, in Anfauglith, who’s afraid of the Big Bad… Dark Lord? PhantomWolf and company ask as Wolves maul Morgoth… and his little cats, too. All that, and more, in today’s
Matchday. I’m your host, Elenrod, and with me today is someone who’s never won the in-house Phantasy Tournament, Maikalomion.
Maika: Yes, sadly. No luck for two years straight.
Elenrod: And joining us again, because we’ve been talking too much behind his back, not the economist, Adam Smith.
Adam: Oh, were you talking behind my back? I didn’t notice, because my head was enclosed in a block of wax.
Felagundion … That’s sarcasm, isn’t it?
Adam: So kind of you to notice.
Elenrod: And our captive guest for two centuries, Felagundion.
Felagundion: I’ve been betting on lotteries like mad. All I need to do is win one, then I’m free.
Adam: Good luck with that.
Elenrod: So, anyway, the games. Let’s start with Group A. How was it?
Adam: It was what I expected. The Havens put up a fight, but Armenelos win. Then the Barrow-Downs get hammered by Valimar.
Felagundion: Well, I was slightly surprised by the lack of fireworks from Arien or Bombadil—I mean, not even a goal between them—but other than that, I agree with Adam.
Maika: I was a bit surprised by Havens’ formation and tactics—Círdan was played out wide instead of just behind the main striker, and Olwë bombed forward a lot to help the attack. It almost paid off, too—they created a lot of chances.
Adam: Armenelos look pretty safe with a win then a game at hand against the Downs. But does anyone here think that the second seed of this group is safer because—
Felagundion: They’d avoid the AC Bel-Valinorean teams side of the bracket? Yeah, I thought that, too. Assuming those three finish first in their groups, any team winning Group A need a lot of miracles to get to the finals.
Elenrod: You think they’d drop the game against Valimar just for that, though? That’s a lot to ask, especially with the rivalry between Ar-Pharazôn and Manwë. But I guess that’s it for Group A. How about the games at the Stadium on the Rock?
Felagundion: Did anyone expect Inter to score twice against the Dwarves? I was thinking ahead of the game, this’ll go 1-0 either way, but kablam, Inter just dominated the game.
Adam: Dwarf U were a player short, though. But yeah, it would still have been 2-0 had Kíli not brought Beren down. He had a head of steam; I don’t think Galadriel could have done anything about him.
Maika: And Dwarf U’s attacking strategy was weird—Legolas just took the long balls and ran away with them without waiting for support. Had he a teammate during some of those chances, they could have passed their way past the centre-backs.
Adam: I guess that’s just due to his poor hold-up play. Gorlim and Haldad aren’t defensive studs, but they can outmuscle Legolas off the ball. So Legolas just exploited their clay feet instead of playing to their strengths.
Felagundion: And the three Dwarves behind him did try to catch up on the break—Dwarves are natural sprinters, after all. It’s just that Leggy’s so fast with the ball on his feet. Not particularly good control, though. Fluffed a lot of chances.
Elenrod: And AC Bel-Gondolin? Did anyone expect Gondolin to score a goal?
Maika: Gondolin do have a lot of pace in their squad. And AC Bel usually reserve their suffocating keep-ball play during the knockout rounds—remember, Doriath scored twice against them last year.
Felagundion: Also, Fëanor’s not that good at playing in the hole, is he? Glaurung’s this big beast who can overpower midfielders, but he can also supply other attackers.
Maika: Finwë also has the pitch awareness to play support striker/central attacking midfielder, despite being an out-and-out striker. His son, sadly, just doesn’t have the vision. When he gets the ball, he has this tunnel vision where it’s just him and the goal.
Elenrod: I guess we’ll see if they’ll keep their 4-2-2-2 permanently next game. How about the games in the Cave? Was anyone disappointed with Hithlum-Real?
Adam: Disappointed? It was a cracking match! They shot 36 times—more than once every three minutes of the game. It’s just that Hithlum’s defence improved, and Real’s defence remains Arda-class.
Felagundion: The game just showed where Hithlum are on the list of possible champions; they’re contenders, sure, with all that talent, but a notch below true favourites. Then again, Real last year were also taught a lesson by FC Val in their first game. Look what happened.
Maika: As for the other match, it was sad to see how far Doriath have fallen. They can’t even control possession against Shire-Bree, with the crowd behind them.
Elenrod: They
did lose two Arda-class talents over the transfer window. Now, let’s move on to Group D.
Adam: Group of Desperately Scrambling for Second Spot, you mean. Well, what do you get when you put a full-grown tiger among kittens?
Felagundion: The other game was actually interesting. Surprising to see Barad-dûr just score one
and concede one. Other than that, it was par for the course.
Maika: The highlight of the group was Curufin’s first goal—
Elenrod: We’ll leave discussion of that for later, Maika. On to the games at the Arkenstone Arena. The question: do dragons need wings? Scatha scoring two; Smaug had one and assisted one.
Adam: Now Group E had the first major shock result. I mean, did anyone expect Erebor’s defence to slip this badly? Last time I checked, Beorn’s still their goalie, and Wilderland’s offence is actually worse in terms of personnel, compared to last year. And their defence’s still rubbish.
Felagundion: Fun match, though. The fireworks.
Maika: A lot of people were surprised by Misty Mts goal vs Eriador. Elrond hasn’t exactly been as otherworldly as he had been two years ago, when he led in phantasy points for a long time. And Misty Mts’ offence is quite good. Rúmil, Azog, Narvi behind Durin’s Bane is a decent front four.
Felagundion: So long as he’s not conceding twice in a single game, I’m okay with it.
Elenrod: Okay, now, Group F, for Felagundion.
Felagundion: The hammer, baby!
Maika: The clean sheet was the most surprising result. Nargothrond’s pressing from the front was excellent, and adding Orodreth and Barahir to their back line worked wonders. You expected their scoring binge, though.
Felagundion: Glaurung is back in his favoured position, and he’s back on the score sheet!
Adam: Equally surprising: The Sea allowing a come-from-behind goal. Weren’t they supposed to be this suffocating defensive force that kept a clean sheet even against FC Val?
Maika: Tirion are about as talented as they are. Both these teams are in that contender tier Hithlum are in—I think they’d go far in the tourney. But not all the way, barring upsets.
Felagundion: Not if Nargothrond take one of the two spots.
Maika: We’ll just see how their defence holds up against the two.
Adam: By the way, did any of you catch Denethor’s post-match press conference?
Elenrod: The one where a reporter asked him if they need a miracle to qualify from this group?
Felagundion: ‘A miracle is just a trick played on your minds by conjurers and wizards,’ he said. Well, if he starts praying to Eru, the sea might just swallow the other three teams up. I don’t see any other way they’re staying up.
Elenrod: From Denethor, it’s on to the Den we go. Was anyone expecting TiG to do that to Angband?
Felagundion: Angband are in this funk ever since they lost Tilion. They’ve been struggling to replace his influence in the midfield since.
Maika: In one stroke, the Werewolves went from contenders to favourites. They look about as confident—and as talented—as their 2011 squad.
Adam: And Imladris look like sacrificial lambs. Anyone think they’ll score this year?
Felagundion: With Angband, a famous defensive squad, and TiG, the team who kept a clean sheet against said squad? I doubt it.
Elenrod: And last, Group H. Did anyone watch their games?
Maika: Anduin finally lived up to their billing, quite literally. They were the most expensive squad there, had the most talent, but they weren’t showing it during the friendlies. They showed it now.
Felagundion: And Mordor, wow!
That’s the shock result of the matchday. I mean, Mordor are dirt cheap. Heck, even my outstanding debt to TENT is worth more than their entire wage bill.
Adam: Yeah. And Rohan were quarterfinalists last year. They were gutted of talent, true, but still. You didn’t expect Mordor to be anything more than a filler team.
Maika: They scored twice against last year’s top defence, and kept a clean sheet with their last year’s 27th ranked defence.
Felagundion: Maybe Sauron’s finally started training defenders and goalies.
Elenrod: Haha, maybe that’s it. Now, before we go, I’d like each of you to share your favourite goal of the week. I hope you’d all choose something different.
Maika: Like I said earlier,
Curufin’s first goal. When I first saw it, I whistled and thought, ‘Are you sure you have enough defenders, Saruman?’
Adam: Hey, that’s a suggestion to Saruman: play a 9-0-1.
Felagundion: As much as I liked all of Nargothrond’s goals, my favourite was Eöl’s bicycle kick vs Gondolin. First, Denethor’s long diagonal pass was soo sexy, then he just receives with this
Simon Cox touch, and finishes it like
Philippe Mexes.
Adam: Eärendil’s solo run was the best for me. It had pace, technique, power. But, most importantly, it had plonk at the start.
Felagundion: ‘Plonk’? What’s that?
Adam: When he headed the ball towards space before he brought it down, the sound effect in my mind was ‘plonk’.
Felagundion: Um, okay.
Maika: Ar-Adûnakhôr’s turn on Imrazôr in the build-up to the winner was also brilliant.
Felagundion: Yeah! That one. I don’t really like him because he was the first of the Adûnaic kings, but his ball control—bloody hell.
Elenrod: I liked Thuringwethil’s knockdown for TiG’s opener. It was simple, but it was her telepathic connexion with SallyWight—she knew she was making a run, so she faked a goalbound header then placed it just right for SallyWight to one-time it in. But my real favourite was Shire-Bree’s set-piece routine.
Adam: Yeah, that was some tippy-tappy mind games from Gandalf.
Elenrod: Indeed. And with that, we’ve come to the end of our program. Our thanks to Adam, Maika, and Felagundion. Hope to see you again next time.