[the phantom]

Arda Cup Football Returns to the Blessed Realm
Philip McPhantom, MESPN News

There's so much football tradition in Valinor- so many great players, venues, and of course fans. What a shame it was that a ban had to be instituted last season, during which no Arda Cup games were played in Valinor.

But there was a good reason for the ban to be instituted- the mistreatment of foreign fans. Various Valinor security task forces were disbanded and investigated, but when brought to trial no one was ultimately held responsible. Higher-ups insisted that their orders were interpreted wrongly, or at the least carried out with too much enthusiasm. The boots on the ground and wings in the air, however, insisted they were acting appropriately given the information they had received from their superiors and the reactions of the would-be visitors.

The sinking of Dwarf-bearing ships bound for the Blessed Realm was determined to have been an accident. Conspiracy theories still abound, but the Dwarves were mollified for the most part following a very thorough investigation led by Ulmo. The Vala of the Sea apologized to the Dwarves and promised them that from then on he would have a small task force dedicated to ensuring the safety of all Arda-Cup related sea voyages, provided the ships worked with him on departure dates and destination.

But Orcs, Trolls, and other creatures of the night remain angry to this day, saying that the ban wasn't a serious enough punishment. "Here they are one year later, forgiven as if nothing happened," said Morgoth in an interview last month. "Yeah, yeah, they lost some revenue and their fans didn't get to watch football live, but there were deaths. Deaths! How could no one have been imprisoned?"

The most serious occurrence was of course the deaths of a couple dragons and eagles of Thorondor after an intense aerial battle. Morgoth and the families of the dragons insisted that the dragons had tickets and were flying into Valinor to give support, but they were denied entry and attacked by a squadron of eagles.

The eagles involved in the attack, however, state that the dragons were using the games as cover to launch a damaging attack upon Valinor, and that they were ordered to intercept them, discover if they had tickets in claw, and then escort them to a secure area to await the games (if in fact they had tickets). The eagles say that the dragons opened hostilities before they had even communicated their orders to them.

The surviving dragons insist that this is not true, but say that the eagles swooped on them aggressively and shrieked at them and did not announce any sort of diplomatic mission. The eagles fired back that they had attempted to fly up beside the dragons initially, but that the dragons had immediately dropped in elevation and rolled onto their backs in midair, baring their claws and teeth in a clearly hostile way.

There was a lot of back and forth, but in the end it was ruled that the entire thing was an unfortunate misunderstanding. The dragons were faulted for their readiness to behave in a hostile manner, and the eagles were faulted for being too quick to give up on the diplomatic portion of their mission.

Thus in the end it was decided that strict punishments might do more harm than good, and entrench both sides. Rather Eru insisted on a break from hosting, and that the in-between time would be used to reevaluate their methods and attitudes. He also insisted that various eagles and dragons fly together, so that they could perhaps come to appreciate their brothers in the air and not see them as merely a mortal enemy. The sessions were private and no one was allowed to speak to the public about them, but as no further deaths occurred it is hoped that this endeavor was somewhat successful.

But even if attempts are being made to change the culture that exists, the Cup Committee must have assumed it would be too much to ask if in the first year back they sent a team that would bring a lot of Orc or Dragon fans behind them. Instead it was Armenelos, The Havens, and The Barrow-Downs that was due to visit, and it appeared things might go off without a hitch.

The Numenoreans could be a bit proud, and small groups of them (probably drunk) made disparaging remarks towards their hosts- joking that the Valar wanted to sink their ships, but couldn't because Numenoreans are far too good at sailing. But the Elves of the various havens and most of the Numenoreans have been excellent guests, and the Valinoreans have treated them quite well.

The Barrow-Downs on the other hand- their Wight fans look to be the biggest threat to tranquility, but they have yet to descend upon the Blessed Realm. The new liberal reforms have the customs officials and such under orders to allow any and all Wights in to support their team. Many are obviously uncomfortable with the orders, but say they will comply with them in an effort to show that they are serious about preventing bad feelings and additional tragedy.

To make their citizens feel more secure, Manwe announced a law to prohibit weapons from being within a block of the arena, and a law that would strictly punish anyone guilty of fighting within the arena. Some greeted the new laws as positive steps towards creating a safe environment, but others pointed out that it was already illegal to have a naked blade within the arena. "You could have a weapon, but it had to be secured and sheathed," says Tulkas. "But now everyone has to leave them at home, so if some unruly Wights sneak in knives and go on a rampage, we'll be defenseless."

When informed of Tulkas' sentiment, Manwe said: "The Wights will be a miniscule minority in a huge arena. Surely we can overcome them even without swords, and surely they will be aware of this." But the next day Tulkas fired back: "No, we can't stop them, because your last law prohibited fighting in the arena. If we grapple with them, we'll be guilty of breaking the law, because the law doesn't have any provisions for fighting even if it is to defend life. Those laws were passed just to make people feel like there was progress. Never mind how ineffective and counter-productive they are."

Manwe has not yet given an official response to Tulkas' most recent comment.