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I think we need to ask ourselves if the Angmar could have defeated Arnor had they not split up into separate kingdoms and fought amongst themselves. The answer is probably not. The next problem is to what extent did Cardolan and Rhudaur support Angmar. Gandalf was faithful to his mission and would only step in when it was absolutely needed. The Northern Kingdom could have stopped Angmar themselves, if they had heeded his council. If they had reunited under the rightful heir.
Gandalf himself had little success with the proud kings of Gondor. I doubt he would have much success with the rulers of Cardolan and Rhudaur.
As for Elrond I don't think he wanted to get into a family dispute. All three kingdoms at least initially were ruled by his kin. Only when the situation became very clear, t it was men against the evil of Sauron would he then send an army. In the end he did help as did Gondor, but by then it was too late.
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