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I think that what the Elves told the Númenoreans is exactly the fate that a short living creature would have in Aman. It is not that their life would end any bit earlier for being in Aman. Probably they would live even a bit longer since no sickness would come an probably even aging of the body would be slowed.
But Men are bound to leave the world. We have only one example of how the pure state of that fate was meant to look like, and that is Elessar. He becomes satisfied with the result of his live and precives that his role is played. He could have lingered around a bit longer, but it would just have prevented a necessary change for some time. Therefore he decided that the end of his life had come, laid down and died.
In Aman it would have been much more difficult for any Men to be satisfied with his life: If all and every thing around you would be long living indeed, the preception of your own short life would be much different. In your own precetion your influence on anything would be nigeltible. Even so you might have started very improtant chan of events, since changes are slow indeed you would never see even a shadow of any result.
As Men are, generaly they would revolte against that. They would try harder (and as long as possible) to make some impresion. That is what the picture of "moths in a light too strong and steadfast" does imply to me.
Respectfuly
Findegil
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