We clearly have to seperat Elves and Half-Elves (or to put corrcet Elves with a fate especialy premited to them).
Elves: They do age equily whom so ever they marry. But verrrrrrrrrrry slow. This would not change at all. The death of the mortal partner would be a heavy blow but it would not inevitably lead to the abontment of incarneted life. Even if the Elve would die because of the grief, that would only mean a time of rest for the Elf in Mandos and if he which it, a return to incarnated life. The reuniting of the partner would be delaid until the end of the world and even then it would be uncertain since the fate of the Elves in thet hour is not known.
An example for that is Mithrelas who marriage Imrazor, a Gondorrim. She did not die but she vanished and it is hinted at that she sailed in to the west.
Half-Elves: After the journey of Earendil the Valar discussed the fate of the Half-Elves. In the result Manwe declared that any being having a share in mortal blood would be mortal, if no other fate was especialy granted to it. The only cases of such a especialy granted fate are Earendil, Elwing, Elrond, Elros, Arwen, Elrohir and Elladan. All of these could choose there own fate. Lets look to their marriages each in turn:
Earendil and Elwing were already marriage when the declaration was made. It is told that they both toke the fate of the Elves Elwing for the reverance of Lúthien and Earendil because of his love for Elwing. Here we have alraedy a clear case of partners who took the same fate, but they did it together.
Elrond had already made his choice when he married Celebrian. But his wife was fitingly to his choice an Elven-woman.
Elros had also made his choice before he married and also in his case he married a woman of Mankid, fittingly to his choice.
Arwen is the only case, that we no of, were a choice was made because of a marriage. Arwen choose the mortal fate because of her love to Aragorn. Her aging was eventually much slower than his (or it started later). So that she was not tired of her life when Aragorn was and made an end to his. We do not know how long she meight have lifed after Aragorns death. But she soon choose also to die and follow him to the fate of man.
For Elrohir and Elladan we do not know if they married at all. But I at least had the impression that when it is told that later no body lived in Imlardis, this means they had sailed west. Based on the evidences we have, I would say that means if they had marriaged at all or thier wife(s) would be Elves.
Respectfully
Findegil
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