[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Ok, let me explain how Lalaith can actually be considered a Warg.

There’s a record of this man called Kador. He was a border guard stationed somewhat east of Hithlum. Anyway, he had an appointment with a comrade of his named Vreth at a tavern in Dor-Lomin; they met there every few months or so to catch up with news and share some drinks. It was an all right place where not too much trouble could get started. So Kador walks in through the door, it’s busy enough this evening, and he spots Vreth standing at the bar with this guy. He’s a bit shorter than the two guards and he’s got unusually short hair.

So: Kador walks up and says “Hello there”. Vreth says “Kador! My good man! You made it. Get yourself a drink and I’ll be back in a minute or so. Those guys over there are just leaving and I owe them something, you see? Be right back. By the way, this is a mate of mine. Malder – he lives in this town.”

“All right” says Kador, and sees Vreth scurry away. “Nice to meet you” he says to Malder. “Likewise” says the stranger. So Kador orders some beer and waits for the bartender to get back, because he’s pretty thirsty. Anyway, Malder just says: “I hate geese.” Kador, thinking he misheard, asks the guy to repeat what he said, and he hears the same thing back, only this time in a more shrill, you might say worrying, tone. “I hate geese!”

Kador says aye, he doesn’t think much of them either, and glances over at where Vreth ran off to. He’s not too happy with the situation; Malder is just standing there, glowering at nothing in particular; his eyes seeming to bobble around like they're on springs.

Nothing happens for about 30 seconds, when Malder says: “I’ve always liked rolling-pins, though”. The beer arrives and Kador takes a long swig. He’s pretty angry with Vreth about now; why on Middle-earth did that ingrate allow this situation to happen? Travelling all this way to meet him and-

“The Lord of Dor-lomin is coming to town next week, some parade thing he’s organized. There’s all sorts of attractions” mused Malder. “Foreign wares, contests, animals for show!” Malder looked as cheerful as he had so far, his lips wobbling worryingly as he spoke. “They’ve got cages, you see, with special animals. I’m going to go and look at them”. He was shaking now, and Kador was getting pretty anxious, not even pretending to keep interest in Malder’s tale and openly seeking out the head of Vreth among the crowd.

“They have a goose!” Malder shouted. “A big, white goose, biggest in the land, you know?” Kador put the pieces together and trembled in fear. He would kill Vreth for this, he said only half-jokingly. “My little brother was killed by a goose! A huge goose with huge wings! He was only 6 years old! He couldn’t defend himself! A goose! I’m going to bring my rolling-pin, and smash that goose into paste! Then we'll see! We'll all see!” Kador was shouting for Vreth as he ran away from the bar, not even finishing his beer.



Right, it appears I’ve accidentally told you the story of how a couple of Hithlum border-guards named Kador and Malder met. But I’m sure I read in Tolkien’s letters that Lalaith is an acronym or something? Something to do with Wargs, anyway.