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Eorl, communicating by text is always imperfect and the smiley system can often complicate perceived intent rather than elucidate it. Additionally, I hardly know you, so I don't know what constitutes a "joke" for you or not.
As it is, jokes work solely on perception, a lot of which is based on context. "Lalaith is a Warg" is funny when Eomer of the Rohirrim says it because he's obsessed with Wargs. If I came fresh into the forum with that comment, I wouldn't go, "Funny!" so much as I'd go, "Huh?" Similarly, without any context, "Tolkien had pointy ears" is not funny to me; it's just goofy. (And by the way, the best jokes succeed when there is the tiniest element of truth to them.)
At any rate, even jokes can be disrespectful, and the fact that it's a joke doesn't excuse it entirely. I've always had issues with people fancying 1). people they don't know personally, 2). people in the public eye, 3). dead people, and 4). people who are married. Tolkien happens to fit in all four categories, and it really doesn't help that when I think of him I think of the old guy in tweed. You just happened to hit my squick button.
I am sorry for bruising your feelings--I know that you're still trying to feel your way around the forum, and so I should not have been so "hostile" as you aptly put it.
Yours,
Mnemosyne
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