[Tuor in Gondolin]

(Edited story so far)

It was a dark and dismal pit for the orcs into which they dragged Smeagol
and left. After a few harsh words to their prisoner they started fighting each other,
which happened to include several nazgul who wanted Smeagol to go to Valinor
to retrieve some strange coloured weed which the residents had begun to
wrap in liquorice paper and relish with great pleasure by smoking pipes provided by Olorin.

The fact is that it distracted the Vala as Gollum peeped over the rim of
Yavanna's large iron cooking pot which contained many brightly coloured strange weeds, which Gollum stole and used for many sinister reasons, but mainly for halitosis (to escape from the nazgul) which had been following him by scent until stepped on by Treebeard who decided that he didn't think nazgul should torture Smeagol with feathers tickling his feet and many other unbearable tortures such as frying his fish and listening to Ioreth chat.

There should be another way to torture Smeagol such as diction tutor to stone trolls, dressing him up in skirts, and reading him a story about a man named Jed. Jed was, of course, a poor mountaineer man from Gondor who barely kept his family fed.

Jed desired to be a troll because he wanted to kill tricksey wizardses who turn trolls into oversized garden gnomes for the elvish gardens in Lorien, which were already full of droppings left by oversized eagles.
...The guano made Jed rich...