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Originally Posted by Aiwendil
Aran - two of the lines you mention were already altered from what you cite (I know it's not easy to keep track of the latest version of every change).
...In these two cases I think I still prefer the above.
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That's fine, then. I've no problem with them. I do prefer my version of
NA-RG-21, but there's nothing wrong with the one you made.
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On your other proposals:
NA-RG-17: I take it the reason for the suggestion is to make 'fierce' clearly the stronger syllable in the first half-line. That's probably wise, but I think perhaps it can be done more conservatively with:
But if you still prefer your line, I have no objection to it.
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I'm actually okay either way. I guess we need a third person to arbitrate.
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NA-SL-04: I'm glad you caught this; there's no alliteration in this line! However, I don't know if 'Noldorim' should be used here, since in the later conception the only homes in the area that the Orcs are likely to have plundered belong to woodmen and perhaps some Sindar. I don't have a solution at the moment, but I'll give this line some thought.
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Maybe we just need to remove it entirely? I'll look into it as well.
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NA-RG-57: The question is: can Gwindor really be called Turin's 'friend' at this point? Turin has been mad and witless on the whole journey so far, and he hasn't even asked Gwindor who he is yet. On the other hand, Gwindor could perhaps be called his friend because he has guided and helped Turin during the latter's madness.
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That last bit was what I was aiming for. He was a "friend" in the sense that he helped him when he was in need, not necessarily in the sense that they knew each other well.