Oh yes, these lines were a bit rough edited.
696: I do not like your solution over much what about
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saw {Blodrin Bor's son}[Mîm the betrayer] __ by a beech standing
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700: I tried 'the brotherhood' instead of 'his brothers' but that is probably to long. What about
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Quote:
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He bargained the blood __ of {his brothers}[the band] for gold:
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701: I believe you mean 701 does not scan well. And I understand your concerns. But I can not find any fitting featur of geographie or soruonding which seemed better. Probably we should change the half line completly:
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this his meed meted - __ in the {mirk at random}[meeting with Húrin];
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702: Not that easy either. But probably this is a good try:
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by an {orc-}[cruel ]arrow __ {his oath}[Andróg's curse] came home.>
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to have a probably smoother read, hear a cleared version of complete add from the
Lay:
Quote:
the dawn over Narog __ dimly kindled
saw Mîm the betrayer __ by a beech standing
with throat thriléd __ by a thrusting arrow,
whose shaven shaft, __ shod with iron,
and feather-wingéd, __ was fast in the tree.
He bargained the blood __ of the band for gold:
this his meed meted - __ in the meeting with Húrin;
by an cruel arrow __ Andróg's curse came home.
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Respectfully
Findegil