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Hmmm...someone godlike, but with a mean streak. How about...Oromë. If the Valar are out of the question, then I suppose a complicated character like Eol would do. Then I could have a stunning soliloquoy before I am launched off the parapet of Gondolin.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.
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