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Edith was uncertain in her position and suggests that she compensated by imposing strict rules within the family
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That is definitely the impression given by Adda. Poor old Professor, sleeping in the spare room after making too free with the port at college dinners....the old nanny's theory is also interesting. She (Mrs Gro the nanny) said that Tolkien's Catholic guardians did not feel Edith was good enough for him and that probably didn't help.
The piano...again, the impression given is definitely that Edith didn't *want* to play, not that she was discouraged to. I had a few theories...perhaps post-natal depression? The comment Adda makes about Edith spending a lot of time upstairs during the day, perhaps lying down, made me wonder...
Adda is of course coming to the household from the egalitarian social structure of Iceland, so the rigid class system of Oxford really baffled and surprised her. She also came from a society where people worked very hard, so she would not have been used to the idea of ladies of leisure...she (Adda) looked after the children, and the cleaning lady came every day, she says Edith did some cooking and dressed and bathed Priscilla in the mornings but that was about it.