LETTER TO THE EDITOR:
Dear Sires:
I was saddened to read your article, "Huan Chases Own Tail", and the news of the famous pup's death in a tragic pique of self-cannibalization (which gives new meaning to the phrase 'dog chow'). I must say its a dog-eat-dog world, but such celebrity deaths are becoming so commonplace, particularly the way stars are hounded by the paparazzi. They say every dog has its day, but once a pack of reporters are unleashed and catch the scent of a story, they sink their canines in and doggedly follow a celebrity around. Then their life isn't worth a dam. I don't mean to bitch, but these curs from the tabloids have to be curbed -- perhaps paper-trained in the correct ethics of journalism.
I am not trying to ruffle any fur, and I am not putting your fine publication in the doghouse with the mongrel tabloids; but when a pure-bred champion such as Huan is forced to heel like he aint nothin' but a hound dawg (cryin' all the time), and then sadly wolfs himself down because no one would throw him a bone, we have every right to howl. We must show them that our bark is not worse than our bite.
Mr. Muttley Kennel
Airedale, Newfoundland
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.
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