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Well, since we are going for a veneer of pseudo-intellectuality, then in addition to misquoting and misinterpreting obscure Tolkienia, perhaps we should inject a little exoliterary (a word I just pompously invented) blundering as well. I am thinking specifically of the classic misunderstandings and misidentifications found in Shakespeare's pastoral plays (As You Like It, for example): He loves her, but she spurns him because she loves the other, but the other is not really a he but a disguised she who loves the first, etc.
Of course, blatant literary rip-offs on this scale must be plainly labeled as such in order to show off our pretentiousness. Maybe we can have an elf NPC named Touchstone making snide asides.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.
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